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Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Fit Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley (WWE WrestleMania 22 April 2, 2006)

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Back before it was its own deal the Money in the Bank match was part of WrestleMania, like the Andre the Giant Memorial Colossal Jostle is now. This right here is the second one and for some goddamn reason it features Ric Flair in it. He’s like 56 years old or something and yet still gets superplexed off the top of the ladder at one point by Matt Hardy. I am surprised that his bones didn’t turn to dust after that move.

RVD wins and does the honorable thing and cashes in in advance, challenging John Cena for the title at One Night Stand.

NXT (June 21, 2017)

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It’s time for another installment of NXT, coming at you previously recorded from Full Sail University in Orlando, Florida. Tonight our main event pits two of NXT’s best strikers against one another as the undefeated Aleister Black takes on Kassius Ohno in the main event.

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John Cena vs. Kane (WWE SmackDown October 1, 2010)

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This is a weird match. Nexus is there as lumberjacks. Cena beats them up and then just bails as The Undertaker shows up about halfway through so he and Kane can fight in the audience.

Matt Striker is on commentary doing his usual, Myspace emo-kid poetry commentary shtick. While it’s fine for Lucha Underground, it’s really awkward here. Todd Grisham is also on commentary, because Michael Cole apparently needs to seem hip and exciting.

2010 WWE is weird as fuck.

High Voltage (WCW February 1997)

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DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (November 2, 1985)

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It’s time for another installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event. This one took place a couple days after Halloween so the opening montage of promos features a bunch of dudes in costumes while the music from the Halloween movie franchise plays in the background.

We’ve got Mean Gene dressed up as a pumpkin with Bobby Heenan dressed up as Davy Crockett getting ready for some sort of Halloween festivities. Gene asks if Heenan’s hat is a weasel, he insists that it’s a raccoon. Heenan is practicing for the pumpkin dunk later this evening.

What’s a pumpkin dunk you ask? It’s like bobbing for apples, but instead of apples there are pumpkins, and instead of water the tub is filled with chocolate for some reason. Maybe because they’re in Hersey, PA for this installment.

We head next to Hulk Hogan screaming about his upcoming match with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. You can tell he’s serious because he’s got his droopy ass headband on again. The last time he had that on he prevented a nuclear holocaust.

Andre shows up and chops him in the chest and is like, “Yo chillax Hogan, let’s go get ready for our match.”

Roddy Piper is dressed as Superman and is chilling with Jesse Ventura who is wearing a costume that’s probably more conservative than his normal attire. Ventura talks about how happy he is that Piper fucked up the Hillbilly wedding during the last Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Mean Gene is standing by with newcomers Terry Funk and “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Funk says that he’ll house train the JYD in their match tonight. Mean Gene criticizes Funk for having a mouth full of chaw, so Terry Funk spits it into the camera and we go to the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro.

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NXT (June 14, 2017)

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Tonight three women will step into the ring and jostle for the NXT Championship. It’s going to be an elimination match pitting Ruby Riot and Nikki Cross against the reigning champion, Asuka.

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TNA Impact! (June 4, 2004)

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This is the historic first episode of Impact. Prior to this TNA had just done weekly PPVs. There’s an opening montage of a bunch of exciting stuff from previous TNA events. We then get an off-camera Professor “Iron” Mike Tenay introducing the show as the camera pans around the Universal Studios Arena.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (October 5, 1985)

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“WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF AN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS!” screams Mean Gene Okerlund.

What’s he talking about? Why the upcoming flag match between Nikolai Volkoff and Hulk Hogan of course!

Nikolai will not have a guilty conscious if the USSR launches nukes at the US because of the outcome of his flag match with Hulk Hogan. Hell, he says he’ll push the button himself. Or at least that’s what I think he said…it was a pretty marble-mouthed promo.

Hogan is standing by wearing the droopiest headband of all time. He vows to make sure that the only flag ever to fly in the US and A is the red, white and blue because he won’t have the little Hulkamaniacs being indoctrinated by a goddamn Bolshevik.

And now to domestic affairs! Mean Gene’s standing by with Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer because there’s a hillbilly wedding taking place tonight provided we survive the nuclear strike that the Hogan vs. Volkoff match is sure to cause. Roddy Piper shows up to mock Uncle Elmer because Piper is the best and we go to the opening credits.

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WWE 205 Live (June 6, 2017)

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Tonight on a very special episode of 205 Live, TJ Perkins takes on the King of the Cruiserweights, Neville, in a match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. Here’s a highlight package to show how these two former allies got to this point!

Highlight reel taken care of, we get the opening credits and then head down to the ring for wrestling. As always our announcers for the evening are Corey Graves and Tom “Face Fucker” Phillips.

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