High Voltage (WCW February 1997)

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DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

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Xanta Klaus (WWF 1995)

Before becoming one half of the The Hardcore Chair Swingin’ Freaks, Balls Mahoney had a stint in the WWF where he played a villainous version of Santa Claus named Xanta Klaus who lived at the South Pole and once a year roamed the Earth stealing presents from people.

He appeared a handful of times, allying himself with Ted DiBiase and messing with Savio Vega before disappearing from television and never being mentioned again when people realized that an evil Santa Claus was a stupid idea that at best only worked for a month out of the year.

The Gobbledy Gooker (WWF Survivor Series November 22, 1990)

I feel bad for Hector Guerrero. The dude was Lazer-Tron, he was “one of Eddie’s brothers,” but Thanksgiving Day 1990, the embarrassment of Hector Guerrero reached levels never again matched in professional wrestling when he debuted at Survivor Series as a giant turkey.

That being said the Gobbledy Gooker is something that we still talk about today. Granted it’s usually in a mocking fashion, but that’s more than can be said for Just Joe or Swoll.

Happy Thanksgiving Hector Guerrero!

Executioner (WWF 1996)

Wrestling is replete with Executioners. They have long been masked fodder for true wrestling heroes to run through in squash matches. On October 20, 1996 at In Your House: Buried Alive, yet another Executioner made his debut during the first-ever “non-sanctioned” match in the history of the WWF.

The “non-sanctioned” buried alive match ended when The Undertaker dropped Mankind into a grave and covered his back with a light dusting of dirt. This apparently constituted being buried alive because the referee awarded the match to the Undertaker.

Suddenly a masked man emerged and whacked the Undertaker with a shovel. That man was known as Executioner, but beneath that shitty Halloween costume was one time denizen of Baddstreet, USA, Terry Bam Bam Gordy. He had been brought in by Paul Bearer to help Mankind deal with the Undertaker and spent the next few months doing just that.

Gordy, as Executioner, faced the Taker two months later at In Your House: It’s Time in an “Armageddon Match,” that the Undertaker won. A short time later Paul Bear fired him on a random episode of Superstars and Executioner was never seen again.

Donald Trump, Stone Cold Steve Austin & Vince McMahon (WWE March 28, 2007)

On March 28, 2007 a press conference announcing the deatails of Wrestlemania XXIII was held at Trump Tower in New York City. Among the matches announced was the “Battle of the Billionaires,” which would pit Trump against McMahon by proxy.

It is amazing to me that nine years later one of these two shifty fucks is not only running for president, but stands a chance of winning. Good job America…