USWA

Tim Hall vs. “Flamboyant” Eric Embry (USWA June 29, 1991)

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“That goofy Leatherface” makes his USWA debut, coming out with Embry and Ta-Gar to scare the hell out of Dave Brown and Michael St. John with his chainsaw.

Embry cuts a promo and yells some shit about Jerry Lawler. He declares, “Well you know, Lawler’s a little bit more stupider than what I thought he was,” and then gets in the ring with youngster Tim Hall.

Jerry Lawler vs. Ta-Gar (USWA June 29, 1991)

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Sadly this is the final appearance of Ta-Gar on Memphis TV. After the match, Eric Embry runs out and to jump Lawler, but Lawler knocks him out of the ring. There’s then an old clip of Jackie Fargo wrecking house on Moondogs because he’s coming in to team with Lawler in an upcoming bout against Leatherface and Eric Embry.

Memphis baby!

Randy Johnson vs. Ta-Gar (USWA June 15, 1991)

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Ta-Gar the Lord of Volcanoes apparently comes from space and arrived in Memphis in the summer of ‘91 looking for gladiators to challenge. A youngster by the name of Randy Johnson answers Ta-Gar’s call and promptly gets beat down via a flaming claw hold. “Superstar” Bill Dundee shows up with a chair to chase Ta-Gar off before bellowing some shit about need a belt around your waist if you want to get real paid and then challenging the decidedly beltless Ta-Gar to a match.

Memphis baby!

Crusher Bones & Macho Warrior Ric Hogan vs. Steven Dunn & Flash Flanagan (USWA November 16, 1996)

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Bones and Hogan take on Dunn and Flanagan in a Time Limit Match which seems to me to be what the WWE refers to as an Ironman Match.  Whoever scores the most pinfalls and submissions in the allotted time is the winner.

Bones and Hogan once more play second fiddle to Sean Venom and Mike Samples hyping a Snake Box Match (apparently Snake Box Match II).  I should really seek that out next.

Watching all these matches I find myself becoming a fan of Crusher Bones.  He has the most ridiculous move he does that I can only really described as a skeleton jig.  I think it’s supposed to be scary or tough looking taunt but it just makes me laugh.

Kowabunga & Ken Wayne vs. The Twilight Zone (USWA August 18, 1990)

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Quasar and Nebula have trouble getting on the same page in this tag team bout against Kowabunga and his new B.F.F., Ken Wayne.

Kowabunga vs. Ken Wayne (USWA August 4, 1990)

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Ken Wayne apparently thought that Kowabunga was a moron in a turtle costume, but after the wrestling ninja turtle pinned him 1-2-3 in a quick match, he earned Wayne’s respect.

Following the match Kowabunga did the worst karate demonstration imaginable before Jeff Gaylord, Scott Braddock and Downtown Bruno interrupt things and beat up Kowabunga because he sucks before Ken Wayne chases them off with a wooden bar stool.

Memphis baby!

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Kowabunga (USWA July 1990)

The year was 1990 and America was gripped by Turtlemania.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were everywhere: on TV, in the movies, in the cereal aisle…everywhere.  The Turtles were big business, and down in Memphis where the adage red green equals green still holds sway, USWA decided to cash in on the Heroes on the Half-Shell.  Enter Kowabunga!

Seriously watch the video.  It is fucking insane.  A guy in a Turtle costume goes apeshit over TV before a guy dressed as Splinter more or less tells him to go to Memphis to wrestle Jeff Gaylord.  This really makes no sense at all because almost as soon as Kowabunga arrived in USWA everyone else was like, “I though he was just a moron in a suit, but he can wrestle.”  No one acts like he’s actually a turtle, so what the fuck is going on with this vignette?

Sean Venom, Steven Dunn & Flash Flanagan vs. Mike Samples, Crusher Bones & Macho Warrior Ric Hogan (USWA November 9, 1996)

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You’d think that a six man tag match involving a grappler as decorated and skilled as Macho Warrior Ric Hogan would focus on him, but no, the real stars of this bout are Sean Venom, his “snake box,” and Mike Samples.

Apparently Venom and Samples have a “Snake Box” Match coming up, so Venom brings out the aforementioned device to taunt Samples during the bout.  The entire thing devolves into utter chaos with Venom attempting to put Samples in the “snake box,” Randy Hales hitting Venom with a briefcase, and Macho Warrior Ric Hogan and Crusher Bones having a very workmanlike match in the ring.

Memphis baby!

Macho Warrior Ric Hogan & Crusher Bones vs. TD Steele & Flash Flanagan (USWA November 2, 1996)

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Delightful Memphis wrestling wackiness as Macho Warrior Ric Hogan and Crusher Bones take on TD Steele and Flash Flanagan in tag team action.  Hogan and Bones’ manager, Randy Hales (who according to the heap of announcers and commentators is not “an official manager” and thus has no business at ringside) claims that these two fine athletes will soon win the USWA tag team championships.