Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Curry Man vs. Johnny Devine vs. Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy vs. Super Eric (TNA Bound For Glory IV October 12, 2008)

Oh how I love me some gimmick matches. What we got here is a 10 Man Steel Asylum Match from TNA’s 2008 Bound For Glory. What’s a Steel Asylum Match you ask? It’s really quite simple, it’s WWE’s old big blue cage with a curved roof on it and a hole at the top of the roof. To win the match you have to climb the wall of the cage, monkey bar over to the hole in the center and pull yourself out.

All ten of the dudes in the match are pretty solid workers, but with ten dudes and a wonky gimmick to boot this is a clusterfuck from the get go. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun clusterfuck, but it’s basically dudes doing crazy looking moves at a million miles an hour so you don’t even have a chance to register half the stuff that’s happening.

The finish sees Curry Man of all people scale the wall and make his way towards the hole only to be cut off by Sonjay Dutt and thrown from the top of the cage down into the ring. Jay Lethal comes up behind Dutt and they have a fistfight that leaves Sonjay dangling from the roof of the cage by his legs, leaving Lethal free to pull himself out of the cage, securing victory and a shot at the X-Division Championship.

Winner: Jay Lethal

This was an all action match. The ten dudes involved worked hard and the crowd was really into the high spots. As an opening contest this worked. As I’ve said before, I don’t need tons and tons of this sort of match, but it’s a fine thing to have on a wrestling card. [***¼]

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IMPACT Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground (April 6, 2018)

Impact vs. LU

We’re at the Sugar Mill in New Orleans for this crossover event between Impact (née TNA) and Lucha Underground. Our hosts for the evening are Matt Striker and Josh Mathews. ECW ’09 commentary team all up in this mug!

Melissa Santos and some random blonde lady who is apparently Impact’s backstage interview lady come out to hype the crowd. Since this is on Twitch instead of basic cable Melissa Santos tells the crowd to make “some fucking noise,” or something like that before introducing the competitors for the first match.

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NWA:TNA Weekly PPV #21 (November 20, 2002)

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Time for another action packed episode of NWA-TNA from 2002. Your hosts for the evening are Don West and Mike Tenay. West talks up tonight’s matches. We’ve got Amazing Red taking on Jerry Lynn for the X-Division championship and in the main event Jeff Jarrett will be taking on Ron Killings for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship.

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NWA:TNA Weekly PPV #20 (November 13, 2002)

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Welcome to the TNA Asylum. Jeremy Borash introduces Goldylocks who will sing “The Star Spangled Banner,” in honor of the veterans (Veterans’ Day would have been a day or two prior to this). She proceeds to sing the National Anthem unaccompanied and does a pretty decent job.

We then get the opening video before we’re joined by our hosts for the evening: Don West and Professor Iron “Mike” Tenay. Tenay tells us that as of yet, Mr. Wrestling III has not contacted him about The Truth’s open contract. He and West then give us a brief rundown of the card.

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NWA:TNA Weekly PPV #19 (November 6, 2002)

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I’ve decided to watch some old TNA from the weekly PPV era for reasons not even I completely understand so let’s get it going on!

Professor Iron “Mike” Tenay informs us that the stars of TNA took part in he NWA’s 54th Anniversary event in Corpus Christi, TX since the last PPV, and we are shown a man proudly displaying a tattoo of the NWA logo on his arm. That’s really something guy!

Continue reading “NWA:TNA Weekly PPV #19 (November 6, 2002)”

Jon Moxley vs. Dr. Porter (TNA Final Resolution December 7, 2008)

Back when he was still just a guy willing to get thrown into plates of glass and stabbed with a fork, the man who would become Dean “Titty Master” Ambrose wrestled a dark match in TNA, taking on a guy named Dr. Porter.

The match is nothing special really. Porter hits a bunch of spinbusters and back breakers before Ambrose picks up the win with a DDT, but it’s always weird to see wrestlers in companies they have nothing else to do with.

TNA Total Nonstop Deletion (December 15, 2016)

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We’re in Cameron, North Carolina tonight for Total Nonstop Deletion. Senor Benjamin tells us (en Español) that we shouldn’t try this at home and Vanguard 1 informs us that no drones were harmed in the making of this event.

From there it’s time for a montage! Reby’s playing a piano. Matt Hardy’s in a dilapidated boat in the middle of a lake. Jeff Hardy is doing edgelord landscaping. Things are about to get broken!

Continue reading “TNA Total Nonstop Deletion (December 15, 2016)”

Decay vs. The Hardy Boys & Reby Sky (TNA Impact September 8, 2016)

I kind of love that a batshit insane fight taking place outside a southern manor house has become the new steel cage match in wrestling.  After the insanity that was the Final Deletion, WWE tried their hand at this sort of match with the Wyatt Family battling the New Day and the, quite frankly, fell very short of the high watermark set by the Final Deletion.  So what happens when TNA goes back to the well a second time?  You get Delete or Decay!

In the weeks leading up to this match Decay (Crazzy Steve, Abyss, and Rosemary) were being douchebags to the Hardy Boys: creeping around the Hardy compound and being creepy shits, as is their way, and so Matt Hardy challenged them to a bout since Decay was more or less asking to be deleted.

To call this a wrestling match is kind of a stretch.  With the Final Deletion you at least had a ring for part of it.  This time around there’s none of that.  Decay arrive and encounter your pal and mine, Senor Benjamin, hard at work digging.  They inquire as to what he’s digging and he straight up tells them, “I’m digging your graves, my friends.”  It’s in Spanish, so I don’t know if they understand because they just walk past him.  Senor Benjamin mugs for the camera and flips his shovel so we can see that “DELETE” has been painted on the reverse side.

Decay creep through the woods like goddamn horror movie murderers, and arrives at Hardy Manor and peer into Maxel’s window.  It’s creepy as fuck, but Matt Hardy is here to emote spectacularly.  “DECAY!!!!!  I KNEW YOU’D COME!”  He, Jeff “Brother Nero” Hardy, and Reby Sky chase after Decay with fireworks in a callback to the Final Deletion and Decay haul ass towards the dilapidated boat.  Matt tells Reby to go back to the house and keep Maxel safe and the Hardy Boys go after Decay.

Abyss tells Rosemary to go get Maxel and she runs off.  Jeff Hardy proceeds to dropkick the dilapidated boat barely knocking it into the water, thus dispatching Abyss.  The Hardys run off to battle Crazzy Steve and Rosemary and Senor Benjamin stands up to collect the dilapidated boat.  Suddenly from the water emerges…JOSEPH PARK (aka Abyss’ “brother”/alter ego).  He’s all excited and asks Senor Benjamin if he knows where Abyss is.  Senor Benjamin tasers him like a goddamn boss and then scoops him up with a Bobcat and drives off.

Crazzy Steve and Jeff “Brother Nero” Hardy are brawling near a fire next to a pool.  They try to shove each other’s faces into the fire for awhile and then Jeff suplexes Crazzy Steve into the pool and the two fight under water.

While those two fight in the pool, Senor Benjamin buries Joseph Park in one of the graves he’d dug earlier.

Back at the pool Jeff puts Crazzy Steve in a sleeper hold underwater and basically drowns him.  He then climbs out of the pool and sits beside it breathing heavily.  Crazzy Steve pops out of the water Friday the Thirteenth style and pulls Jeff back in.

Back at the graves, Senor Benjamin has just completed his work when the grave suddenly busts open and Abyss, wielding a spiked 2×4 pops out and attacks.  Senor Benjamin gets knocked out and Abyss goes after Rosemary to help her get Maxel.

Steve tries to rip out Jeff Hardy’s eyes and then runs off into the woods.  His creepy face paint all came off in the pool, so he FUCKING REGENERATES HIS FACE PAINT!

Matt Hardy runs into Abyss who is going to whack him in the dick with a spiked 2×4, but Jeff Hardy pushes his brother out of the way and takes the spiked board to the dick intended for Matt.  Melancholy piano music plays.  Is Jeff Hardy supposed to be dead?  It doesn’t matter because Matt Hardy’s drone, Vanguard 1 shows up and shoots more fireworks at Decay.

Decay attempt to flee the scene but the fireworks cause the ground around Crazzy Steve and Abyss to ignite and burn in some kind of shitty design.  The flames are like a couple inches high, but Steve and Abyss act like they’ve been trapped in some kind of force field.

Back in the Hardy Manor, Reby has been knocked out and Rosemary is absconding with Maxel.  Fucking Vanguard 1 shows up to stop her, but she hits the drone with Asian mist causing it to break.  Is Vanguard 1 dead?  Maybe, but his sacrifice was noble, because during the battle Maxel was able to escape.  Rosemary calls out for him but instead Matt appears and calls her a witch.  She attempts to mist Matt, but Matt inhales the mist and then blows it back at her and she runs off.

Maxel and Reby appear and Matt Hardy and his family stand triumphant, but are they really?  Jeff “Brother Nero” is possibly dead, Vanguard 1 is destroyed, and Decay escaped, kidnapping a still unconscious Senor Benjamin as they went.  And so ends Delete or Decay…

I didn’t know what to expect going in to this.  The first one was pretty great.  The one WWE did was not.  Delete or Decay fell in the middle, though I thought it was closer to Final Deletion than New Day vs. Wyatts.  While I thought there were a few too many callbacks to the first one (especially since that match was only a few months ago) there was still a lot of new ridiculous bullshit this time around.  The fight in the pool was pretty good and Matt Hardy inhaling the Asian mist and spitting it out was a fun spot that could only work in a match like this.  There will be people who hate this because it’s “not wrestling,” but I thought it was pretty fun.  There are a billion forms that professional wrestling can take and not all of them are for everyone, but I, for one, am glad when people involved in the sport I love try new things and give us viewers something we haven’t seen before.