ECW One Night Stand 2006 (June 11, 2006)

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I guess this really should be called ECW Friends With Benefits or something since this is the second One Night Stand PPV. The show begins in true ECW fashion with a cold open. We see the rabid ECW fans packed to the rafters in the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “ECW!” until the ECW theme song hits and Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop.

Heyman thanks all the fans for being and says that with its rebirth ECW would appeal to a new, global audience. He hypes up the upcoming ECW show on Sci-Fi and tells the fans that it was because of them demanding it that ECW is coming back.

He thanks them again and tells them that ECW is going to be better than Raw or Smackdown. Oh Paul Heyman, how wrong you’d end up being, but that’s another story for another time…

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 3, 1986)

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The opening is a little different than the Saturday Night’s Main Event openings we’re used to since it’s pretty much just Mean Gene doing voiceovers about the card as we see the various combatants rather than the traditional promos of yore. We do get a couple soundbites from the wrestlers though. Adrian Adonis, for example, gets a couple seconds to talk about how he “always wanted” Paul Orndorff.

Hulk Hogan meanwhile…

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WWF Fully Loaded: In Your House (July 26, 1998)

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We get a cold open of Jerry Lawler going into Sable’s dressing room. He wants to know what kind of bikini she’s going to wear for the bikini contest. She tells him that a picture is worth a thousand words or something and offers to show him.

Sable goes behind one of those dressing screens and strips off her top and tosses it out to Lawler and then invites him behind the screen for a peak. Jerry Lawler basically has an aneurysm.

We then get a hype video for the show talking about the shit going on with Taker and Austin and wondering if they can coexist tonight when they face Kane and Mankind for the tag team titles. It’s not one of the better hype videos WWE has done, but for an In Your House PPV I guess it suffices.

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WWF Shotgun Saturday Night (July 18, 1998)

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Welcome everyone to WWF Shotgun Saturday Night! It’s 1998 so it’s no longer that weird WWF show that seemed to be aping the aesthetic style of ECW and having matches with midgets and shit. Now it’s just a b-show for midcarders. Our announcers for the evening are Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole, and Christ on a crutch are they terrible. Hopefully the in ring action isn’t that bad.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (November 2, 1985)

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It’s time for another installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event. This one took place a couple days after Halloween so the opening montage of promos features a bunch of dudes in costumes while the music from the Halloween movie franchise plays in the background.

We’ve got Mean Gene dressed up as a pumpkin with Bobby Heenan dressed up as Davy Crockett getting ready for some sort of Halloween festivities. Gene asks if Heenan’s hat is a weasel, he insists that it’s a raccoon. Heenan is practicing for the pumpkin dunk later this evening.

What’s a pumpkin dunk you ask? It’s like bobbing for apples, but instead of apples there are pumpkins, and instead of water the tub is filled with chocolate for some reason. Maybe because they’re in Hersey, PA for this installment.

We head next to Hulk Hogan screaming about his upcoming match with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. You can tell he’s serious because he’s got his droopy ass headband on again. The last time he had that on he prevented a nuclear holocaust.

Andre shows up and chops him in the chest and is like, “Yo chillax Hogan, let’s go get ready for our match.”

Roddy Piper is dressed as Superman and is chilling with Jesse Ventura who is wearing a costume that’s probably more conservative than his normal attire. Ventura talks about how happy he is that Piper fucked up the Hillbilly wedding during the last Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Mean Gene is standing by with newcomers Terry Funk and “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Funk says that he’ll house train the JYD in their match tonight. Mean Gene criticizes Funk for having a mouth full of chaw, so Terry Funk spits it into the camera and we go to the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro.

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Terry Funk vs. The Sheik (FMW 5th Anniversary Show May 5, 1994)

Do you like bleeding old men? Forks? Pants being on fire? Chairs being chucked at random? Strangulation? If you answered yes to any or all of those questions than have I got a wrestling match for you!

If none of those things tickle your fancy this match also has Sabu in pants that look like tin foil, a guy with dodgy monster gloves and face paint carrying a torch, and Terry Funk climbing up a wall in a baseball stadium!

But wait! There’s more! Order now and get a guy yelling in Japanese over a PA telling people to get out of the way as a pair of bleeding old men chase each other slowly through a crowd as our special gift to you!