ECW One Night Stand 2006 (June 11, 2006)

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I guess this really should be called ECW Friends With Benefits or something since this is the second One Night Stand PPV. The show begins in true ECW fashion with a cold open. We see the rabid ECW fans packed to the rafters in the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “ECW!” until the ECW theme song hits and Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop.

Heyman thanks all the fans for being and says that with its rebirth ECW would appeal to a new, global audience. He hypes up the upcoming ECW show on Sci-Fi and tells the fans that it was because of them demanding it that ECW is coming back.

He thanks them again and tells them that ECW is going to be better than Raw or Smackdown. Oh Paul Heyman, how wrong you’d end up being, but that’s another story for another time…

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WWF Monday Night Raw (February 24, 1997)

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Welcome everyone to Monday Night Raw! We’re coming to you tonight live from the Manhattan Center in New York City! Vince is ecstatic to back in the building where it all started back on January 11, 1993. Jerry Lawler is with him to remind us that he called out ECW last week and apparently they’ve accepted his challenge and are here in the building, but who cares about that when we’ve got hillbillies taking on cowboys!

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WWF Invasion (July 22, 2001)

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It’s time for the Invasion. I somehow missed out on this when it happened and haven’t seen it since, but I know its reputation. Everyone does. Does the Invasion deserve the amount of shit that’s been heaped upon it? Let’s find out!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt kicks things off for us, talking about war as clips of WCW and ECW dudes invading WWF are shown. This is really a weird way to kick off a PPV. Fireworks happen. JR welcomes to the Gund Arena as we get down to the ring for action.

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ECW (April 5, 1994)

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Oh fuck it’s the Bruise Brothers! They’re attacking their opponents before they even have a chance to get in the ring! That is not particularly sporting of them!

Match 1: The Bruise Brothers vs. Stormin’ Mike Norman & ????

This is barely a match. The Bruise Brothers attack before the bell, brawl their way into the ring, hit some power moves, hit a double big boot and make the cover to pick up the win. After the match they continue to pummel their opponents before we get the opening credits.

Winners: The Bruise Brothers

I feel bad for whoever the non-Stormin’ Mike Norman Bruise Brother victim was since he has more or less been forgotten to time. Joey never mentions his name (to be fair he doesn’t mention Stormin’ Mike Norman either but Mike had the wherewithal to wear tights with his name on the ass) and all the records of this match on the internet either incorrectly claim that the Bruise Brothers fought someone like Mikey Whipwreck or Hack Meyers or just have the second dude listed as ????. So ???? if you’re out there, let me know who you are so we can get you the respect you deserve for taking a hellacious beating from a pair of oversized Nazi fucks.

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ECW (March 29, 1994)

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ULTIMATE JEOPARDY! Highlights of the event are shown during the cold open. It looks like it was basically War Games with competitors entering one at a time. Looks like the order of the entrants was Taz and Rocco Rock to start followed by Johnny Grunge, Kevin Sullivan, Mr. Hughes, Terry Funk, Shane Douglas, and Hawk.

The highlight reel was pretty good and I liked how they’d edit in one of the earlier Tod Gordon or Matty Indahouse hype videos to announce what each dude’s stipulation for losing was as that competitor came out.

We get the ending of the match that saw Mr. Hughes and Shane Douglas alone in the cage with Terry Funk. Douglas ties a plastic bag over Funk’s head and hitting him with a pile driver to pick up the win. Due to the pre-match stipulation this means that Shane Douglas is now the ECW Heavyweight Champion!

 

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ECW (March 22, 1994)

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We kick things off with the closing moments of last week’s main event in which saw Taz besting Sabu in a fairly contested bout of grappling to become ECW TV Champion…wait that’s not how it went down? The ending was an overbooked mess in which Kevin Sullivan appeared to stop Paul Heyman from waffling Woman with a Zack Morris cellphone thus distracting Sabu an allowing Taz to pick up the win? Umm…ECW? ECW? ECW?

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ECW (March 15, 1994)

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Paul Heyman is here to hype up the main event between the TV Champion, Sabu, and the human suplex machine, The Tazmaniac before we get the opening video.

In the ECW Command Center…

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. We get a double main event tonight. In addition to the match Heyman announced at the top of the program, we also have a six man tag team match pitting Shane Douglas & The Public Enemy against Terry Funk, Kevin Sullivan and Hugh “Crash” Morris. Joey then tosses it to Douglas and the PE who are standing by in an unfinished basement.

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ECW (March 8, 1994)

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“9-1-1! 9-1-1!” the crowd screams. Paul Heyman gives the fans what they want.

Match 1: 911 (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Mikey Whipwreck & Paul Lauria

Double choke slam and pin in mere seconds. More choke slams come post-match. “Security” or ring crew guys hit the ring to try to get Whipwreck and Lauria out, but 911 choke slams the fuck out of them too. The crowd is absolutely losing their shit over this and the opening video rolls…

Winner: 911

I still don’t get 911. Like I understand what he is and stuff, but do not get why he is so over here. He’s probably the most over guy on the entire roster which is just insane to me.

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