ECW (June 20, 2006)

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We get a cold open with a fortune teller (Shelly Martinez/Ariel/That Lady With the Boobs/etc.) using tarot cards to recap what happened on Raw the night before. Apparently ECW invaded and Sabu left John Cena bleeding. Tonight there will be a tag team event pitting Van Dam & Angle against Edge & Orton. For all the dumb shit WWE’s ECW did I think this is honestly a pretty cool way to recap a show.

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ECW One Night Stand 2006 (June 11, 2006)

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I guess this really should be called ECW Friends With Benefits or something since this is the second One Night Stand PPV. The show begins in true ECW fashion with a cold open. We see the rabid ECW fans packed to the rafters in the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “ECW!” until the ECW theme song hits and Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop.

Heyman thanks all the fans for being and says that with its rebirth ECW would appeal to a new, global audience. He hypes up the upcoming ECW show on Sci-Fi and tells the fans that it was because of them demanding it that ECW is coming back.

He thanks them again and tells them that ECW is going to be better than Raw or Smackdown. Oh Paul Heyman, how wrong you’d end up being, but that’s another story for another time…

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WWF Monday Night Raw (February 24, 1997)

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Welcome everyone to Monday Night Raw! We’re coming to you tonight live from the Manhattan Center in New York City! Vince is ecstatic to back in the building where it all started back on January 11, 1993. Jerry Lawler is with him to remind us that he called out ECW last week and apparently they’ve accepted his challenge and are here in the building, but who cares about that when we’ve got hillbillies taking on cowboys!

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Terry Funk vs. The Sheik (FMW 5th Anniversary Show May 5, 1994)

Do you like bleeding old men? Forks? Pants being on fire? Chairs being chucked at random? Strangulation? If you answered yes to any or all of those questions than have I got a wrestling match for you!

If none of those things tickle your fancy this match also has Sabu in pants that look like tin foil, a guy with dodgy monster gloves and face paint carrying a torch, and Terry Funk climbing up a wall in a baseball stadium!

But wait! There’s more! Order now and get a guy yelling in Japanese over a PA telling people to get out of the way as a pair of bleeding old men chase each other slowly through a crowd as our special gift to you!

ECW (March 29, 1994)

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ULTIMATE JEOPARDY! Highlights of the event are shown during the cold open. It looks like it was basically War Games with competitors entering one at a time. Looks like the order of the entrants was Taz and Rocco Rock to start followed by Johnny Grunge, Kevin Sullivan, Mr. Hughes, Terry Funk, Shane Douglas, and Hawk.

The highlight reel was pretty good and I liked how they’d edit in one of the earlier Tod Gordon or Matty Indahouse hype videos to announce what each dude’s stipulation for losing was as that competitor came out.

We get the ending of the match that saw Mr. Hughes and Shane Douglas alone in the cage with Terry Funk. Douglas ties a plastic bag over Funk’s head and hitting him with a pile driver to pick up the win. Due to the pre-match stipulation this means that Shane Douglas is now the ECW Heavyweight Champion!

 

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ECW (March 15, 1994)

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Paul Heyman is here to hype up the main event between the TV Champion, Sabu, and the human suplex machine, The Tazmaniac before we get the opening video.

In the ECW Command Center…

Joey Styles welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. We get a double main event tonight. In addition to the match Heyman announced at the top of the program, we also have a six man tag team match pitting Shane Douglas & The Public Enemy against Terry Funk, Kevin Sullivan and Hugh “Crash” Morris. Joey then tosses it to Douglas and the PE who are standing by in an unfinished basement.

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ECW (March 1, 1994)

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I got so fucking confused by the beginning of this episode. “Didn’t I just watch this? Did I accidentally play the same episode I just watched? No…do I need to send the WWE Network a strongly worded letter?”

The episode begins with the exact same intro as last week with Joey Styles talking about the tag team fracas that happened last week (two weeks ago) and then showing us the Public Enemy sneaking into Tod Gordon’s office last week (two weeks ago). Joey hypes up the return of Sabu to face Pat Tanaka for the TV Championship (happened last week), and talks about getting our first look at newcomer, “Awesome” Mike Awesome (also happened already). The reused the intro. Fortunately after that weird editing decision, the remainder of the episode is new to me, so let’s take it away!

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