WCW Monday Nitro (April 28, 1997)

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Ric Flair loves to fight with Big Boys That Love to Roughhouse! We get footage of him fighting and ultimately pinning Vader that apparently proves the point that Ric Flair is not afraid of Kevin Nash while also burying a dude who was no longer with WCW.

We go to the announce team for the evening: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Larry Zybyszko. They tell us that because of the NBA Playoffs, Nitro is only an hour long this week and then some bagpipes hit.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (March 1, 1986)

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Saturday Night Live will not be seen tonight so we can bring you this special previously taped presentation of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Saturday Night Live will return next week with John Lithgow and Mr. Mister…

We begin tonight with Mr. T working over a heavy bag. Mean Gene shows up to ask him about his upcoming match tonight with Bob Orton. Mr. T calls Mean Gene a fool for interrupting a man during his workout and then says that when he gets done with Bob Orton he’s going to look like Mean Gene.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (January 4, 1986)

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Recorded on December 19, 1985 at the Sun Dome in Tampa, the fourth installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event aired on January 4 of the following year. As is the case with all of these shows we start with some random promos before the actual event gets underway.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (November 2, 1985)

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It’s time for another installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event. This one took place a couple days after Halloween so the opening montage of promos features a bunch of dudes in costumes while the music from the Halloween movie franchise plays in the background.

We’ve got Mean Gene dressed up as a pumpkin with Bobby Heenan dressed up as Davy Crockett getting ready for some sort of Halloween festivities. Gene asks if Heenan’s hat is a weasel, he insists that it’s a raccoon. Heenan is practicing for the pumpkin dunk later this evening.

What’s a pumpkin dunk you ask? It’s like bobbing for apples, but instead of apples there are pumpkins, and instead of water the tub is filled with chocolate for some reason. Maybe because they’re in Hersey, PA for this installment.

We head next to Hulk Hogan screaming about his upcoming match with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. You can tell he’s serious because he’s got his droopy ass headband on again. The last time he had that on he prevented a nuclear holocaust.

Andre shows up and chops him in the chest and is like, “Yo chillax Hogan, let’s go get ready for our match.”

Roddy Piper is dressed as Superman and is chilling with Jesse Ventura who is wearing a costume that’s probably more conservative than his normal attire. Ventura talks about how happy he is that Piper fucked up the Hillbilly wedding during the last Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Mean Gene is standing by with newcomers Terry Funk and “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Funk says that he’ll house train the JYD in their match tonight. Mean Gene criticizes Funk for having a mouth full of chaw, so Terry Funk spits it into the camera and we go to the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (October 5, 1985)

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“WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF AN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS!” screams Mean Gene Okerlund.

What’s he talking about? Why the upcoming flag match between Nikolai Volkoff and Hulk Hogan of course!

Nikolai will not have a guilty conscious if the USSR launches nukes at the US because of the outcome of his flag match with Hulk Hogan. Hell, he says he’ll push the button himself. Or at least that’s what I think he said…it was a pretty marble-mouthed promo.

Hogan is standing by wearing the droopiest headband of all time. He vows to make sure that the only flag ever to fly in the US and A is the red, white and blue because he won’t have the little Hulkamaniacs being indoctrinated by a goddamn Bolshevik.

And now to domestic affairs! Mean Gene’s standing by with Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer because there’s a hillbilly wedding taking place tonight provided we survive the nuclear strike that the Hogan vs. Volkoff match is sure to cause. Roddy Piper shows up to mock Uncle Elmer because Piper is the best and we go to the opening credits.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 11, 1985)

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The first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event begins with Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter discussing strategy. Lauper tells Richter to, “make sure, Wendi, that Moolah doesn’t grab your hair, you know she loves to do that,” while Wendi Richter nods and is like “Right, right…”

We go next to Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. Hogan yells some stuff about his match with Bob Orton while Mr. T uses some sort of weird arm exercise bar thing. Mr. T has on work gloves for some reason. He cuts a promo on Piper and says, “I PITY THAT FOO!” Hogan also pities that fool and then tells us to, “Kick back and relax for Saturday Night’s Main Event!”

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