ECW Hardcore Heaven ’95 (July 1, 1995)

ECW Hardcore Heaven '95

This is a show I’d heard a lot about back in the day when I was into real sleazy garbage wrestling and shit like that because of the Taipei Deathmatch but I’d never actually seen it until I got the WWE Network and watched it, which automatically makes it 90% less sleazy than it would have been if I’d traded a 3rd generation tape of the Big Japan Supermarket Deathmatch for a dubbed copy of this, but whatever. Let’s get extreme!

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WWF Raw (March 25, 2002)

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This seemingly random episode of Raw is actually a historically important one as it was the first WWE Draft and the episode that would begin the Brand Split Era. We start things off with a cold open that features Linda McMahon boringly explain the concept of the draft to those of us watching at home as well as a gaggle of WWE wrestlers watching in the locker room.

There will be twenty picks tonight overall between the two brands: Raw (with General Manager Ric Flair) and Smackdown (with General Manager Vince McMahon). The remaining superstars will be put in a draft lottery on WWF.com after Raw ends or something.

She goes on to say that since Triple H, Jericho, and Stephanie McMahon will be competing in a match for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship none of them are able to be drafted. Steve Austin is also ineligible since he apparently had something written into his contract that said, “In the event of a Brand Split leading to a Draft I, Stone Cold Steve Austin, become a free agent and that’s the bottom line cuz Stone Cold said so.” I guess he was legit having a contract dispute at the time and it was unclear if he’d resign or not and this is what they came up with.

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WCW Clash of the Champions XVI: Fall Brawl (September 5, 1991)

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We begin things with a brief video that gives us a rundown of the main matches on the card before heading to the Civic Center in Augusta, GA where we are joined by our hosts for the evening Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone. They talk about what’s going on tonight and then throw it to their broadcast colleagues who are standing about ten feet away from them.

Eric Bischoff, Missy Hyatt and Paul E. Dangerously talk about what they will be doing during the Clash. Missy Hyatt is apparently still on her quest to interview a dude in the locker room and promises an interview with the World Heavyweight Champion, Lex Luger. Paul E. is going to interview the man who will challenge Luger for the title at Halloween Havoc, “The All-American” Ron Simmons. Bischoff then throws it over to the ring announcer to get the Clash underway with the first match of the evening.

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ECW Hardcore TV (February 7, 1995)

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We start things off with the Public Enemy making their way out to the ring for their Tag Team Title match against the challengers of Sabu and The Tazmaniac. This footage is from Double Tables, but because I’m watching it on the WWE Network instead of a VHS cassette, “Here Comes the Hotstepper,” has been replaced by some generic hip-hop beat. The crowd doesn’t seem to mind though and dutifully puts their hands in the air and waves them as if they just don’t care all the same.

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WCW WrestleWar ’91 (February 24, 1991)

WCW WrestleWar '91

With William “Steven” Regal recently announcing a WarGames match for the upcoming NXT pay per view special I decided to go back and watch some old WarGames matches to get me super excited. Since I’d also been randomly watching WCW from 1991 it made sense for me to watch the WarGames match from that year, so let’s go back to February 24, 1991 for WrestleWar ’91!

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WCW Main Event (December 29, 1991)

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We’re joined by Tony “The Greatest Night In The History of Our Sport” Schiavone and Missy “I Don’t Blow Jobbers” Hyatt in the WCW Command Center for an action packed episode of WCW Main Event.

They make some small talk about Christmas and Missy says that the only thing that was wrong was people had a hard time getting the entire Neiman Marcus store into her house as gifts. Schiavone no sells it and starts talking about the upcoming Battlebowl match at Starrcade, which will begin in an hour’s time. Schiavone wants Missy’s pick for the man who’s going to win it all. She hems and haws a bit so Tony says he’ll get her pick later and throws it down to the ring for action!

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Rey Mysterio vs. John Cena (WWE SmackDown November 6, 2003)

John Cena in his Doctor of Thuganomics persona takes on Rey Mysterio in this match from 2003. It’s a pretty decent match and then there’s a ref bump so Cena punches Mysterio in the dick. Cena wins LOL!

After the match Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Big Show and Matt Morgan come out and tell Cena that he’s going to be the fifth man on Lesnar’s Survivor Series team. Cena’s like, “NO ONE TELLS JOHN CENA WHAT TO DO!”

A-Train/Albert/Lord Tensai appears in the ring and takes out Cena and the Lesnar’s dudes hit the ring and wreck shit on John Cena, finishing him off with a chairshot to the head. Ruthless Aggression y’all!