Big Show vs. Kane (WWE Backlash 2006 April 30, 2006)

Dear God, this match…of all the random full length matches WWE could put up for free on the internet in an effort to get people to sign up for the WWE Network, this is the one they selected.

So Show and Kane have a hoss fight. They slowly clubber one another for awhile. JR calls it an “ugly match” which is code for “I also think this match is complete shit, but I have to act like it isn’t.”

They colossal jostle for awhile until the arena suddenly is bathed in a weird, red light, while voices muttering, “May 19!” are piped in over the PA.

Kane starts beating himself up. Show gets in the ring, seems like he missed a cue or something, heads back out of the ring, grabs a chair, gets back in the ring, brains Kane with the chair causing the voices to stop and the lights to return to normal, and then just heads up the ramp looking absolutely disgusted.

Complete and utter shit.

Advertisements

WWF Raw Is War (July 27, 1998)

raw_logo

We start things off with a photo recap of Austin and Taker winning the Tag Team titles at Fully Loaded. You want to see film footage of it, order the replay baby! We get the opening theme music and then JR welcomes us to Anaheim, CA where too much pyro is going off.

JR tells us that there’s going to be a tripe threat match for the Intercontinental Championship between The Rock, Triple H, and X-Pac later tonight. Lawler jizzes in his pants because he gets to present a trophy to the winner of last night’s bikini contest and Sable has promised to wear a new “Raw bikini.”

Continue reading “WWF Raw Is War (July 27, 1998)”

WWF Monday Night Raw (November 4, 1996)

MondayNightRaw1993

Welcome to Walton, Kentucky where Kevin Kelly is standing outside the house of Brian Pillman for an interview that will be conducted later in the night to give an update on the condition of his ankle after receiving surgery on it last week after Steve Austin had destroyed it.

Stone Cold Steve Austin had threatened to come to Pillman’s house and finish the job, but up to this point Austin had not showed…

Continue reading “WWF Monday Night Raw (November 4, 1996)”

WWF Fully Loaded: In Your House (July 26, 1998)

Fully Loaded 1998.jpg

We get a cold open of Jerry Lawler going into Sable’s dressing room. He wants to know what kind of bikini she’s going to wear for the bikini contest. She tells him that a picture is worth a thousand words or something and offers to show him.

Sable goes behind one of those dressing screens and strips off her top and tosses it out to Lawler and then invites him behind the screen for a peak. Jerry Lawler basically has an aneurysm.

We then get a hype video for the show talking about the shit going on with Taker and Austin and wondering if they can coexist tonight when they face Kane and Mankind for the tag team titles. It’s not one of the better hype videos WWE has done, but for an In Your House PPV I guess it suffices.

Continue reading “WWF Fully Loaded: In Your House (July 26, 1998)”

WWF Raw Is War (July 13, 1998)

raw_logo

We kick things off with a recap of the Attitude Era antics of last week’s main event where Undertaker, dressed as Kane, beat Mankind to become the number one contender for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship by hitting him in the head with a chair. We get our opening theme song and then go live to a sold out arena somewhere in New Jersey where JR welcomes us and assures us that both The Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve Austin are here tonight.

Continue reading “WWF Raw Is War (July 13, 1998)”

The Great Khali vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Daddy V vs. Kane (ECW October 30, 2007)

Fuck yeah it’s time for the first ever Monster Mash Battle Royal! What’s a Monster Mash Battle Royal you ask? Well, it’s a four man battle royal between four gigantic men held the day before Halloween on an episode of ECW.

Of the four men competing only Big Daddy V was actually an ECW contracted athlete. The other three men all hailed from SmackDown. Of course Big Daddy V was the first man eliminated, because this was WWECW…

WWF Raw Is War (June 29, 1998)

raw_logo

We kick things off with some photos from the First Blood match between Steve Austin and Kane from last night’s King of the Ring with JR’s commentary left in place. We see a bunch of Attitude Era run-ins that lead to Undertaker coming down and waffling Austin with a chair while the ref is down allowing Kane to pick up the win.

We get the classic guys fighting in a warehouse as shit explodes and generic hardcore plays opening and then Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Raw as fireworks explode and the cameras pan around the hyped as fuck crowd of 20,000 plus.

Continue reading “WWF Raw Is War (June 29, 1998)”

John Cena vs. Kane (WWE SmackDown October 1, 2010)

This is a weird match. Nexus is there as lumberjacks. Cena beats them up and then just bails as The Undertaker shows up about halfway through so he and Kane can fight in the audience.

Matt Striker is on commentary doing his usual, Myspace emo-kid poetry commentary shtick. While it’s fine for Lucha Underground, it’s really awkward here. Todd Grisham is also on commentary, because Michael Cole apparently needs to seem hip and exciting.

2010 WWE is weird as fuck.