WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (January 25, 2009)

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Of the “Big Four” WWE PPVs my favorite has always been the Royal Rumble. Sure WrestleMania has bigger marquee matches but there’s something awesome about seeing a bunch of dudes clubbering one another and tossing each other out of the ring and seeing what random legend they bring back in to throw a couple dudes out of the ring before ultimately getting eliminated.

Today we’re going to take a look at the 2009 edition of the Royal Rumble coming to us from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit.

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ECW December to Dismember (December 3, 2006)

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After your slick looking, albeit standard issue, “Tonight some shit is gonna go down…IT’S DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER!” video package we head to some random arena or civic center in the ECW stronghold of…Augusta, GA? That can’t be right can it?

Pyro explodes and in spite it being almost 2007 when this is happening, “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor,” blares. We are joined by our announce team for the evening: Joey Styles and Taz. Joey promptly spoils the main event when he declares, “Tonight, a new ECW world’s champion will be crowned.”

Now, for those of you not well versed in random WWECW storylines from 11 years ago, this was not a situation where the title was vacant going into this event. Big Show was the reigning champ, and according to Joey Styles in two hours and change he was set to drop the belt.

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Lucha Underground (December 10, 2014)

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We kick things off with a recap of the action from last week which is helpful for me because I last watched LU like four or five months ago. From there we head to the Temple for action!

Danny Trejo is ringside as King Cuerno makes his way to the ring. Tonight Cuerno is going up against Super Fly in his first Lucha Underground match.

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Lucha Underground (December 3, 2014)

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We begin things backstage where Ezekiel “Big Ryck” Jackson is signing a contract with Dario Cueto. Dario tells him, “When I invited Johnny Mundo to Lucha Underground, I wanted to use him as an example that no matter the talent, the reputation, the flash, no one is safe. Put everyone on notice because violence is my favorite kind of entertainment.“ Champagne gets busted out and Big Ryck lights up a cigar.

It’s Lucha Underground!

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Lucha Underground (November 26, 2014)

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Lucha Underground begins with Konnan, entering Dario Cueto’s office. The one time Wolfpac member tells Cueto that he stopped Prince Puma from coming into Cueto’s office and wrecking house on him after Cisco and Castro attacked Puma last week.

Dario offers Konnan a drink, but Konnan turns him down. Cueto tells him that Castro and Cisco for Big Ryck, not him and that he’s got no beef with Puma. Konnan then says that he wants a match…Puma vs. Big Ryck in a Boyle Heights Street Fight and asks Dario if he knows what a Boyle Height Street Fight is. Before Dario can reply, “I’m assuming it’s like a South Philly Street Fight or a Chicago Street Fight or any of the myriad of other geographically based street fights that exist in pro-wrestling,” Konnan tells him that it’s a fight, not a wrestling match and that anything goes.

Dario Cueto is amenable to this and agrees to the match and then goes to take a sip from his booze, but Konnan snatches the glass out of his hands and is like, “You know what? I think I will take that drink after all,” and then chugs it and leaves the office. Dario has a look of disgust on his face and dumps the ice and liquor dregs from the glass into a trashcan.

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Lucha Underground (November 5, 2014)

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The gangbangers that took out Johnny Mundo and Prince Puma are already in the ring introducing themselves. They are known as Cortez Castro, Cisco, and Ezekiel “Big Ryck” Jackson. One of the dudes is like, “We’re not here to play games. We’re here to beat people up and take their money.“

This causes Johnny Mundo to come running out and start wrecking house on the dudes in the ring. Ezekiel Jackson bails pretty quickly while Castro and Cisco grab some chairs to go wreck Mundo’s shit, but before they have a chance to use them, Prince Puma runs out to even the odds.

This prompts Dario Cueto to bust out of his office and do his best Teddy Long as Smackdown GM impression…

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Lucha Underground (October 29, 2014)

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Lucha Underground begins with a masked man saving dude wearing a hoodie from a beatdown in an alley and then giving some awesome voice-over history lesson about the Seven Mystical Aztec Tribes and how they started lucha libre. The old man in the mask asks the hoodie guy, “Will you join us?” Hoodie guy seems to be into it. It’s time for Lucha Underground!

Meanwhile in Mexico…

A real sleazy businessman by the name of, Dario Cueto shows up at Triplemania and dumps out a briefcase of money to try and convince the AAA luchadors to come fight for him in America.

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Cody Rhodes vs. Alex Riley vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Ezekiel Jackson vs. John Morrison vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Sheamus vs. Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase Jr. (WWE Raw September 26, 2011)

Remember when that time when everyone hated Triple H and he would come out and do long promos as a heel authority figure?  No, that other time…back in 2011.  This is a Ten Man Over the Top Battle Royal for the WWE Intercontinental Championship that Triple H set up because Cody Rhodes told Triple H he was bad at his job.

Of these ten men only Sheamus is still employed by the WWE, since the Sin Cara in this match was still the original Sin Cara at this point if I’m not mistaken.