WWE Raw 25 (January 22, 2018)


Welcome everyone to Monday Night Raw coming to you live from the Manhattan Center with your hosts Good Ol’ JR and Jerry “The King” Lawler. We’ve got the old wailing siren of yore and the entire thing is set up like an episode of Raw from 1993, complete with an ICOPRO banner.

Lawler promises that this will be the most memorable Raw ever. It would turn out that he was either gravely mistaken or outright lying…

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WWE Beast In The East (July 4, 2015)

WWE Beast In The East.jpg

I guess the story goes that the WWE was going to Japan for a series of house shows and Brock Lesnar, wanting to go visit a sick friend, offered to do a match during the tour in order to get to Japan on the WWE’s dime. With Brock Lesnar now on the card, Vince McMahon and company decided to make an event of it that they would air live on the WWE Network and thus Beast In The East was born!

After the opening video package we go to Ryogoku Kokugikan Sumo Hall in Tokyo, Japan for a shot of the crowd. We are joined Stateside by Michael Cole and Byron Saxton on commentary, and already this looks and feels really different from every other WWE event since a Japanese company handled all the production.

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WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (January 25, 2009)


Of the “Big Four” WWE PPVs my favorite has always been the Royal Rumble. Sure WrestleMania has bigger marquee matches but there’s something awesome about seeing a bunch of dudes clubbering one another and tossing each other out of the ring and seeing what random legend they bring back in to throw a couple dudes out of the ring before ultimately getting eliminated.

Today we’re going to take a look at the 2009 edition of the Royal Rumble coming to us from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit.

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ECW (June 20, 2006)


We get a cold open with a fortune teller (Shelly Martinez/Ariel/That Lady With the Boobs/etc.) using tarot cards to recap what happened on Raw the night before. Apparently ECW invaded and Sabu left John Cena bleeding. Tonight there will be a tag team event pitting Van Dam & Angle against Edge & Orton. For all the dumb shit WWE’s ECW did I think this is honestly a pretty cool way to recap a show.

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ECW (June 13, 2006)

Ecw_logoTwo days after ECW’s One Night Stand their new, weekly TV program debuted on Sci-Fi. This is that show. While One Night Stand was, in my opinion, a pretty damn good show, the ECW shows that appeared on Sci-Fi have a reputation of being pretty terrible. So let’s get EXTREMELY SCIENCE FICTIONY!

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ECW One Night Stand 2006 (June 11, 2006)


I guess this really should be called ECW Friends With Benefits or something since this is the second One Night Stand PPV. The show begins in true ECW fashion with a cold open. We see the rabid ECW fans packed to the rafters in the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “ECW!” until the ECW theme song hits and Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop.

Heyman thanks all the fans for being and says that with its rebirth ECW would appeal to a new, global audience. He hypes up the upcoming ECW show on Sci-Fi and tells the fans that it was because of them demanding it that ECW is coming back.

He thanks them again and tells them that ECW is going to be better than Raw or Smackdown. Oh Paul Heyman, how wrong you’d end up being, but that’s another story for another time…

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WWE SmackDown Live (August 1, 2017)

SmackDown Live Logo

After an opening video package highlighting the stuff that went down last week as well as hyping two huge matches for tonight (Styles vs. Owens and Cena vs. Nakamura) we head to Cleveland, Ohio for action. Tom Phillips, JBL, and Byron Saxton are calling the action.

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Rey Mysterio vs. John Cena (WWE SmackDown November 6, 2003)

John Cena in his Doctor of Thuganomics persona takes on Rey Mysterio in this match from 2003. It’s a pretty decent match and then there’s a ref bump so Cena punches Mysterio in the dick. Cena wins LOL!

After the match Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Big Show and Matt Morgan come out and tell Cena that he’s going to be the fifth man on Lesnar’s Survivor Series team. Cena’s like, “NO ONE TELLS JOHN CENA WHAT TO DO!”

A-Train/Albert/Lord Tensai appears in the ring and takes out Cena and the Lesnar’s dudes hit the ring and wreck shit on John Cena, finishing him off with a chairshot to the head. Ruthless Aggression y’all!


John Cena vs. Kane (WWE SmackDown October 1, 2010)

This is a weird match. Nexus is there as lumberjacks. Cena beats them up and then just bails as The Undertaker shows up about halfway through so he and Kane can fight in the audience.

Matt Striker is on commentary doing his usual, Myspace emo-kid poetry commentary shtick. While it’s fine for Lucha Underground, it’s really awkward here. Todd Grisham is also on commentary, because Michael Cole apparently needs to seem hip and exciting.

2010 WWE is weird as fuck.


WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event (August 2, 2008)

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When I was a kid Saturday Night’s Main Event was kind of a big deal since most of the televised wrestling matches were King Kong Bundy or Ric Rude or whoever squashing the fuck out of S.D. Jones or some other job guy. If you wanted to see guys who could win taking on other guys who could win you had to order PPVs…or tune in to NBC a couple times a year. It was a decent concept, but it stopped being a thing in ’92.

In 2006 the WWE and NBC brought it back. It ran for a couple years before being replaced by Tribute for the Troops. This is, to date, the final Saturday Night’s Main Event.

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