We’re live at the American Airlines Arena in Miami for WCW Uncensored, a show with a reputation of one of the worst WCW PPVs of all times. So why exactly am I reviewing a notoriously bad show from WCW’s nadir? BECAUSE DOUBLE STRAPIFICATION JACK!
We start things off with a video package highlighting the events leading up to the trio of main events to come. We get stuff about Luger and Sting feuding for the nine billionth time and Sid and Jarrett jostling for the World Heavyweight Championship, but none of that shit actually matters because Hogan vs. Flair is a MOTHERFUCKIN’ YAPAPI STRAP MATCH BROTHER DUDE JACK!
Continue reading “WCW Uncensored (March 19, 2000)”
This seemingly random episode of Raw is actually a historically important one as it was the first WWE Draft and the episode that would begin the Brand Split Era. We start things off with a cold open that features Linda McMahon boringly explain the concept of the draft to those of us watching at home as well as a gaggle of WWE wrestlers watching in the locker room.
There will be twenty picks tonight overall between the two brands: Raw (with General Manager Ric Flair) and Smackdown (with General Manager Vince McMahon). The remaining superstars will be put in a draft lottery on WWF.com after Raw ends or something.
She goes on to say that since Triple H, Jericho, and Stephanie McMahon will be competing in a match for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship none of them are able to be drafted. Steve Austin is also ineligible since he apparently had something written into his contract that said, “In the event of a Brand Split leading to a Draft I, Stone Cold Steve Austin, become a free agent and that’s the bottom line cuz Stone Cold said so.” I guess he was legit having a contract dispute at the time and it was unclear if he’d resign or not and this is what they came up with.
Continue reading “WWF Raw (March 25, 2002)”
This is the very first episode of Monday Nitro and the opening salvo of what would become the “Monday Night Wars.” We are at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, Minnesota for some reason and our hosts for the evening are apparently Eric Bischoff and Steve “Mongo” McMichael.
This is Mongo’s first show with WCW and Bischoff tells him, “You made it to the big leagues, buddy,” which is a reference to Mongo’s brief stint in the WWF during the feud between Lawrence Taylor and Bam Bam Bigelow. I guess, then, that this is the first shot Bischoff would take at the WWF during an episode of Nitro.
They bring out Bobby “The Brain” Heenan in an effort to make the commentary team not completely awful. Heenan offers Mongo a handshake and then yells out in pain because Mongo has a joy buzzer or something.
With all that out of the way we head down to the ring (which appears to have been set up in the middle of the food court) for action!
Continue reading “WCW Monday Nitro (September 4, 1995)”
Nitro’s only an hour again this week because of basketball playoffs or something which means this could be a fantastic show. Some of my favorite wrestling shows to watch are only an hour long. That being said, last week’s episode was pretty craptastic, so I don’t have high hopes for this one. Let’s get it on!
Previously on Nitro…
We start things off we a recap of the end of last week’s episode that finds the Outsiders and Syxx beating the fuck out of Ric Flair in the aisle as he screams for Piper to help him since he’s getting murdered. Piper, meanwhile, is in the ring, utterly dumbfounded by the nWo leaflets that are falling from the ceiling.
Continue reading “WCW Monday Nitro (May 5, 1997)”
The opening is a little different than the Saturday Night’s Main Event openings we’re used to since it’s pretty much just Mean Gene doing voiceovers about the card as we see the various combatants rather than the traditional promos of yore. We do get a couple soundbites from the wrestlers though. Adrian Adonis, for example, gets a couple seconds to talk about how he “always wanted” Paul Orndorff.
Hulk Hogan meanwhile…
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 3, 1986)”
Saturday Night Live will not be seen tonight so we can bring you this special previously taped presentation of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Saturday Night Live will return next week with John Lithgow and Mr. Mister…
We begin tonight with Mr. T working over a heavy bag. Mean Gene shows up to ask him about his upcoming match tonight with Bob Orton. Mr. T calls Mean Gene a fool for interrupting a man during his workout and then says that when he gets done with Bob Orton he’s going to look like Mean Gene.
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (March 1, 1986)”
Recorded on December 19, 1985 at the Sun Dome in Tampa, the fourth installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event aired on January 4 of the following year. As is the case with all of these shows we start with some random promos before the actual event gets underway.
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (January 4, 1986)”
It’s time for another installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event. This one took place a couple days after Halloween so the opening montage of promos features a bunch of dudes in costumes while the music from the Halloween movie franchise plays in the background.
We’ve got Mean Gene dressed up as a pumpkin with Bobby Heenan dressed up as Davy Crockett getting ready for some sort of Halloween festivities. Gene asks if Heenan’s hat is a weasel, he insists that it’s a raccoon. Heenan is practicing for the pumpkin dunk later this evening.
What’s a pumpkin dunk you ask? It’s like bobbing for apples, but instead of apples there are pumpkins, and instead of water the tub is filled with chocolate for some reason. Maybe because they’re in Hersey, PA for this installment.
We head next to Hulk Hogan screaming about his upcoming match with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. You can tell he’s serious because he’s got his droopy ass headband on again. The last time he had that on he prevented a nuclear holocaust.
Andre shows up and chops him in the chest and is like, “Yo chillax Hogan, let’s go get ready for our match.”
Roddy Piper is dressed as Superman and is chilling with Jesse Ventura who is wearing a costume that’s probably more conservative than his normal attire. Ventura talks about how happy he is that Piper fucked up the Hillbilly wedding during the last Saturday Night’s Main Event.
Mean Gene is standing by with newcomers Terry Funk and “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Funk says that he’ll house train the JYD in their match tonight. Mean Gene criticizes Funk for having a mouth full of chaw, so Terry Funk spits it into the camera and we go to the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro.
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (November 2, 1985)”
“WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF AN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS!” screams Mean Gene Okerlund.
What’s he talking about? Why the upcoming flag match between Nikolai Volkoff and Hulk Hogan of course!
Nikolai will not have a guilty conscious if the USSR launches nukes at the US because of the outcome of his flag match with Hulk Hogan. Hell, he says he’ll push the button himself. Or at least that’s what I think he said…it was a pretty marble-mouthed promo.
Hogan is standing by wearing the droopiest headband of all time. He vows to make sure that the only flag ever to fly in the US and A is the red, white and blue because he won’t have the little Hulkamaniacs being indoctrinated by a goddamn Bolshevik.
And now to domestic affairs! Mean Gene’s standing by with Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer because there’s a hillbilly wedding taking place tonight provided we survive the nuclear strike that the Hogan vs. Volkoff match is sure to cause. Roddy Piper shows up to mock Uncle Elmer because Piper is the best and we go to the opening credits.
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (October 5, 1985)”
The first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event begins with Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter discussing strategy. Lauper tells Richter to, “make sure, Wendi, that Moolah doesn’t grab your hair, you know she loves to do that,” while Wendi Richter nods and is like “Right, right…”
We go next to Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. Hogan yells some stuff about his match with Bob Orton while Mr. T uses some sort of weird arm exercise bar thing. Mr. T has on work gloves for some reason. He cuts a promo on Piper and says, “I PITY THAT FOO!” Hogan also pities that fool and then tells us to, “Kick back and relax for Saturday Night’s Main Event!”
Continue reading “WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 11, 1985)”