FMW

Ryuma Go & Samurai Max vs. Silver X & Uchuu Majin X (FMW 7th Anniversary Show May 5, 1996)

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Sometimes you just want to see a Japanese dude with a sensible haircut wreck shit on guys dressed up in burlap sacks and dodgy masks. This is a tag team match but it’s clipped in a way that makes it seem like Samurai Max did nothing to help Ryuma Go at all.

Megumi Kudo vs. Mayumi Ozaki (FMW April 18, 1997)

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This match has it all! Barbed wire! Megumi Kudo spamming suplexes like her name is BROOOOOOOOOOOCK Lesnar! A chain! A chokehold big swing! In ring psychology! Japanese ladies in mom jeans!

Terry Funk vs. The Sheik (FMW 5th Anniversary Show May 5, 1994)

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Do you like bleeding old men? Forks? Pants being on fire? Chairs being chucked at random? Strangulation? If you answered yes to any or all of those questions than have I got a wrestling match for you!

If none of those things tickle your fancy this match also has Sabu in pants that look like tin foil, a guy with dodgy monster gloves and face paint carrying a torch, and Terry Funk climbing up a wall in a baseball stadium!

But wait! There’s more! Order now and get a guy yelling in Japanese over a PA telling people to get out of the way as a pair of bleeding old men chase each other slowly through a crowd as our special gift to you!

Biomonster DNA vs. Kodo Fuyuki (FMW August 11, 2001)

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Sometimes when a man and a Biomonster love each other very much…

Biomonster DNA vs. Kodo Fuyuki (FMW August 11, 2001)

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Some English speaking dude on commentary summarizes this match best when he says, “What the hell is this? This isn’t wrestling. This is bullshit.”

Survival Tobita vs. Kodo Fuyuki (FMW April 15, 2001)

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Forget Rikidozan or Giant Baba or Shinsuke Nakamura. The greatest pro-wrestler ever to come from Japan is Survival Tobita. Tobita is the owner of Saitama Pro-Wrestling Company, a glorified backyard federation, in which he fights tirelessly to defend Earth from a never ending horde of monsters that seek to destroy us all.

Here Tobita is going up against a somewhat more human opponent as he goes one on one against former AJPW/WAR wrestler, Kodo Fuyuki. Fuyuki, perhaps to prove his manliness, agrees to be handcuffed during the match.

Things go rather well for Tobita in the early going of the match until a hideous fiend emerges with bolt cutters freeing Fuyuki who then proceeds to lay waste to Survival Tobita. It’s a stark reminder of what can happen when Tobita lets his guard down for even a moment.

Oh and Genichiro Tenryu shows up and yells stuff because early aughts Japanese wrestling…

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Hayabusa (FMW)

Atsushi Onita vs. Mr. Pogo (FMW May 4, 1995)

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Eternal rivals Onita and Pogo compete in a No Rope Barbed Wire Double Hell Deathmatch.  I’m not entirely sure what the “double hell” part of that ludicrous title refers to, but there is a shit ton of barbed wire all over the place.

The match itself is pretty much what you’d expect from these two.  There’s blood and fire, barbed wire bats, flaming barbed wire bats, Mr. Pogo’s boot, Mr. Pogo breathing fire, a sickle to the back…pretty much FMW’s Greatest Hits.

The end of the match is kind of weird, because after pinning Pogo, Onita says some stuff to him and there seems to be mutual respect between the two men who just finished killing each other.  Normally Mr. Pogo matches end with him continuing to beat down whoever he just fought until he gets chased off by some third party, but here he just has a hangdog look and hangs around while Onita celebrates by drinking beer in the middle of the ring while “Wild Thing” blares.

The Great Nita vs. King Pogo (FMW March 15, 1995)

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Atsushi Onita (doing a parody/homage of Great Muta) takes on the regal, King Pogo, in a street fight.  There’s fire, green/red mist, dudes getting stabbed with a sickle and a decide lack of selling of offense.

Perhaps the greatest thing about this match is the fact that Pogo comes to the ring barefoot, but still busts out a cowboy boot to hit Onita with.