WWE Royal Rumble 2009 (January 25, 2009)

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Of the “Big Four” WWE PPVs my favorite has always been the Royal Rumble. Sure WrestleMania has bigger marquee matches but there’s something awesome about seeing a bunch of dudes clubbering one another and tossing each other out of the ring and seeing what random legend they bring back in to throw a couple dudes out of the ring before ultimately getting eliminated.

Today we’re going to take a look at the 2009 edition of the Royal Rumble coming to us from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit.

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ECW (June 20, 2006)

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We get a cold open with a fortune teller (Shelly Martinez/Ariel/That Lady With the Boobs/etc.) using tarot cards to recap what happened on Raw the night before. Apparently ECW invaded and Sabu left John Cena bleeding. Tonight there will be a tag team event pitting Van Dam & Angle against Edge & Orton. For all the dumb shit WWE’s ECW did I think this is honestly a pretty cool way to recap a show.

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ECW One Night Stand 2006 (June 11, 2006)

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I guess this really should be called ECW Friends With Benefits or something since this is the second One Night Stand PPV. The show begins in true ECW fashion with a cold open. We see the rabid ECW fans packed to the rafters in the Hammerstein Ballroom chanting “ECW!” until the ECW theme song hits and Paul Heyman makes his way out to the ring to a huge pop.

Heyman thanks all the fans for being and says that with its rebirth ECW would appeal to a new, global audience. He hypes up the upcoming ECW show on Sci-Fi and tells the fans that it was because of them demanding it that ECW is coming back.

He thanks them again and tells them that ECW is going to be better than Raw or Smackdown. Oh Paul Heyman, how wrong you’d end up being, but that’s another story for another time…

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WWF Fully Loaded: In Your House (July 26, 1998)

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We get a cold open of Jerry Lawler going into Sable’s dressing room. He wants to know what kind of bikini she’s going to wear for the bikini contest. She tells him that a picture is worth a thousand words or something and offers to show him.

Sable goes behind one of those dressing screens and strips off her top and tosses it out to Lawler and then invites him behind the screen for a peak. Jerry Lawler basically has an aneurysm.

We then get a hype video for the show talking about the shit going on with Taker and Austin and wondering if they can coexist tonight when they face Kane and Mankind for the tag team titles. It’s not one of the better hype videos WWE has done, but for an In Your House PPV I guess it suffices.

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WWF Shotgun Saturday Night (July 18, 1998)

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Welcome everyone to WWF Shotgun Saturday Night! It’s 1998 so it’s no longer that weird WWF show that seemed to be aping the aesthetic style of ECW and having matches with midgets and shit. Now it’s just a b-show for midcarders. Our announcers for the evening are Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole, and Christ on a crutch are they terrible. Hopefully the in ring action isn’t that bad.

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WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event (August 2, 2008)

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When I was a kid Saturday Night’s Main Event was kind of a big deal since most of the televised wrestling matches were King Kong Bundy or Ric Rude or whoever squashing the fuck out of S.D. Jones or some other job guy. If you wanted to see guys who could win taking on other guys who could win you had to order PPVs…or tune in to NBC a couple times a year. It was a decent concept, but it stopped being a thing in ’92.

In 2006 the WWE and NBC brought it back. It ran for a couple years before being replaced by Tribute for the Troops. This is, to date, the final Saturday Night’s Main Event.

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WWF Invasion (July 22, 2001)

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It’s time for the Invasion. I somehow missed out on this when it happened and haven’t seen it since, but I know its reputation. Everyone does. Does the Invasion deserve the amount of shit that’s been heaped upon it? Let’s find out!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt kicks things off for us, talking about war as clips of WCW and ECW dudes invading WWF are shown. This is really a weird way to kick off a PPV. Fireworks happen. JR welcomes to the Gund Arena as we get down to the ring for action.

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