Here we’ve got “The Human Suplex Machine” Taz taking on Buh Buh Ray Dudley in a more or less straight up wrestling match. Don’t worry, this is still ECW though so there’s some post-match mayhem with crutches and steel chairs for those of you who don’t want to see Buh Buh Ray Dudley apply hammerlocks and shit like that.
This is from the first episode of ECW. There’d apparently been a couple pilot episodes before this but this is their first shot at the big time and they kick things off with a tournament for the newly created Television Championship that two guys had already held prior to this show taking place.
We start things off with the Public Enemy making their way out to the ring for their Tag Team Title match against the challengers of Sabu and The Tazmaniac. This footage is from Double Tables, but because I’m watching it on the WWE Network instead of a VHS cassette, “Here Comes the Hotstepper,” has been replaced by some generic hip-hop beat. The crowd doesn’t seem to mind though and dutifully puts their hands in the air and waves them as if they just don’t care all the same.
It’s time for some Eastern Championship Wrestling baby! I had notes from this episode typed up but never published and have no idea why. I’m guessing that at some point it was one of the earliest ECW offerings on the WWE Network. I don’t think that’s the case anymore but whatever, here’s an episode of ECW from 1993!
Oh fuck it’s the Bruise Brothers! They’re attacking their opponents before they even have a chance to get in the ring! That is not particularly sporting of them!
Match 1: The Bruise Brothers vs. Stormin’ Mike Norman & ????
This is barely a match. The Bruise Brothers attack before the bell, brawl their way into the ring, hit some power moves, hit a double big boot and make the cover to pick up the win. After the match they continue to pummel their opponents before we get the opening credits.
Winners: The Bruise Brothers
I feel bad for whoever the non-Stormin’ Mike Norman Bruise Brother victim was since he has more or less been forgotten to time. Joey never mentions his name (to be fair he doesn’t mention Stormin’ Mike Norman either but Mike had the wherewithal to wear tights with his name on the ass) and all the records of this match on the internet either incorrectly claim that the Bruise Brothers fought someone like Mikey Whipwreck or Hack Meyers or just have the second dude listed as ????. So ???? if you’re out there, let me know who you are so we can get you the respect you deserve for taking a hellacious beating from a pair of oversized Nazi fucks. [NR]
We kick things off with the closing moments of last week’s main event in which saw Taz besting Sabu in a fairly contested bout of grappling to become ECW TV Champion…wait that’s not how it went down? The ending was an overbooked mess in which Kevin Sullivan appeared to stop Paul Heyman from waffling Woman with a Zack Morris cellphone thus distracting Sabu an allowing Taz to pick up the win? Umm…ECW? ECW? ECW?
Paul Heyman is here to hype up the main event between the TV Champion, Sabu, and the human suplex machine, The Tazmaniac before we get the opening video.
In the ECW Command Center…
Joey Styles welcomes us to the show and runs down the card. We get a double main event tonight. In addition to the match Heyman announced at the top of the program, we also have a six man tag team match pitting Shane Douglas & The Public Enemy against Terry Funk, Kevin Sullivan and Hugh “Crash” Morrus. Joey then tosses it to Douglas and the PE who are standing by in an unfinished basement.
“9-1-1! 9-1-1!” the crowd screams. Paul Heyman gives the fans what they want.
Match 1: 911 (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Mikey Whipwreck & Paul Lauria
Double choke slam and pin in mere seconds. More choke slams come post-match. “Security” or ring crew guys hit the ring to try to get Whipwreck and Lauria out, but 911 choke slams the fuck out of them too. The crowd is absolutely losing their shit over this and the opening video rolls…
I still don’t get 911. Like I understand what he is and stuff, but do not get why he is so over here. He’s probably the most over guy on the entire roster which is just insane to me. [NR]
I got so fucking confused by the beginning of this episode. “Didn’t I just watch this? Did I accidentally play the same episode I just watched? No…do I need to send the WWE Network a strongly worded letter?”
The episode begins with the exact same intro as last week with Joey Styles talking about the tag team fracas that happened last week (two weeks ago) and then showing us the Public Enemy sneaking into Tod Gordon’s office last week (two weeks ago). Joey hypes up the return of Sabu to face Pat Tanaka for the TV Championship (happened last week), and talks about getting our first look at newcomer, “Awesome” Mike Awesome (also happened already). The reused the intro. Fortunately after that weird editing decision, the remainder of the episode is new to me, so let’s take it away!