Hiroshi Ono & Shoji Nakamaki vs. Bob Baragail & Crypt Keeper (IWA Japan May 18, 1995)

This might be the weirdest “wrestling” match I’ve seen. Two dudes spray paint “FUCK YOU” on a house and then proceed to bust in with a sledge hammer and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. One of them is in baseball pants and a dodgy Crypt Keeper mask and according to the internet would shortly after this match go on to be one of the Los Boricuas (Jose Estrada if you’re keeping score at home). The other is a dude named Bob Baragail and his hair is absolutely amazing.

They hammer away at the door and eventually make their way into the house where they immediately start beating on two Japanese dudes. Roughly twenty minutes of dudes slamming each other’s heads into walls follows. Each punch, kick, and slam has been overdubbed with more devastating sound effects. Crypt Keeper attempts to drown a dude in a toilet or a bathtub or a bidet or something.

A crowd (consisting primarily of housewives and small children) gathers outside as four men attempt to maim one another. A dude gets choked out with a leek/green onion. A daikon radish is used as a weapon. There’s a part that’s in slow motion with melancholy music and overdubbed narration. Bob Baragail randomly blows fire.

The match actually ends in a pinfall and afterwards Nakamaki and Ono go outside and thank everyone and then credits roll. As the credits roll, Baragail and Crypt Keeper kick in walls and hit them with sledgehammers and stuff. It all ends with the Crypt Keeper busting a hole in the wall to the outside of the house and creepily waving at the children still sitting outside.

Atsushi Onita vs. Mr. Pogo (FMW May 4, 1995)

Eternal rivals Onita and Pogo compete in a No Rope Barbed Wire Double Hell Deathmatch.  I’m not entirely sure what the “double hell” part of that ludicrous title refers to, but there is a shit ton of barbed wire all over the place.

The match itself is pretty much what you’d expect from these two.  There’s blood and fire, barbed wire bats, flaming barbed wire bats, Mr. Pogo’s boot, Mr. Pogo breathing fire, a sickle to the back…pretty much FMW’s Greatest Hits.

The end of the match is kind of weird, because after pinning Pogo, Onita says some stuff to him and there seems to be mutual respect between the two men who just finished killing each other.  Normally Mr. Pogo matches end with him continuing to beat down whoever he just fought until he gets chased off by some third party, but here he just has a hangdog look and hangs around while Onita celebrates by drinking beer in the middle of the ring while “Wild Thing” blares.

Mr. Pogo vs. Mitsuhiro Matsunaga (FMW Summer Spectacular August 28, 1994)

A street fight death match.  How this is any different than any other FMW match I don’t really know.  They brawl on the floor.  Barbed wire bats come into play.  Fire is involved.  Pogo uses a sickle on Matsunaga’s back.  Pretty standard early 90s Japanese garbage wrestling.

Mr. Pogo vs. Jason the Terrible (WING May 7, 1992)

Oh what a match this is!  If you like casket matches, so much brawling in the crowd, 10,000 headbutts and 458 chairshots to the head than this is the match for you!  Match highlights include:

  • Mr. Pogo ripping off Jason’s mask to reveal a dude with silver facepaint and a little crustache.
  • An umbrella causing more damage than any of the 458 chairshots that occurred.
  • So many lariats.
  • One of the Invaders freaking the fuck out after giving Mr. Pogo a can of gas and a lighter.
  • The coffin’s window.
  • After being placed in the coffin sans mask, Jason’s mask magically returning when his coffin is carted away by a heap of mulleted Japanese wrestlers.
  • The “Jason will return to WING!” title card at the end of the buried alive deathmatch.