WWF Smack ’Em Whack ‘Em (March 31, 1993)

WWF Smack 'Em Whack 'Em

Back before the WWE Network, 18 “Monthly Specials” and 900 hours of broadcast television a week there was scant little wrestling to watch. Sure there was stuff like Jim Crockett Promotions/NWA/WCW on the Superstation and the AWA on ESPN but that sort of stuff didn’t really appeal much to children. The WWF, however, had just the thing to meet the wrestling needs of small children across the United States: Coliseum Videos.
These tapes would have a few matches, often “Coliseum Video exclusives” filmed either at house shows or as dark matches during Wrestling Challenge tapings alongside goofy backstage stuff and profiles on various wrestlers. For those of us who became wrestling fans in the 80s or early 90s the Coliseum Videos became an integral part of our fandom, frequently being rented from the local video rental store and watched repeatedly. So when the WWE recently dumped a bunch of them up on the WWE Network, I for one was very excited.

While a lot of the matches on these tapes weren’t exactly five-star mat classics there are some hidden classics as well as matches that I, for whatever reason, thought were great when I was ten years old. Today we’re going to check on what is probably the pinnacle of the Coliseum Videos, 1993’s Smack ‘Em Whack ‘Em.

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W*ING Odawara Blazing Night (October 31, 1993)

WING Odawara Blazing Night Cover.jpg

Time for another hour or so of foreigners in dodgy Halloween masks and crazy Japanese guys maiming each other in Japan for the enjoyment of a bunch of nerds. That’s right, it’s time for another W*ING review baby! This time we’re checking out the Odawara Blazing Night tape which featured matches that took place on Halloween night 1993.

We start things off with more sinister synth music while we see torches burning and strands of barbed wire intercut with a images of a flashing light and the sound of a wailing siren.

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The Headhunters vs. Miguel Perez Jr. & Mitsuhiro Matsunaga (ECW August 31, 1993)

Pre-Extreme ECW is a weird beast. Here we have a match between four guys who were never really ECW guys for another promotion’s title. We got the W*ING Tag Champs, The Headhunters, going up against a Los Boricua and the man, the myth, the Big Japan Crocodile Deathmatch King…Mitsuhiro Matsunaga.

This match is being contested under W*ING Rules, which means they are being contest under ECW rules before those existed (ECW still had countouts and DQs and stuff at this point). Lots of ugly brawling. Perez gets busted open in like 8 seconds or something.

The ending of the match is stupid as hell. A Headhunter hits a moonsault on Perez and goes for the cover. The ref totally ignores this. Matsunaga and the other Headhunter come in. The first Headhunter gets up off Perez. Matsunaga gets him in a small package. The ref ignores this as well. The illegal Headhunter pins Perez while the illegal Matsunaga has the legal Headhunter in a small package. The ref finally gets off his duff and counts three while both teams have illegal pins.

He’s then like, “Shit, I’ve done goofed…ummm…NO CONTEST!”

“ECW IT’S NOT FOR EVERYONE!”