Terrance Taylor vs. Van Hammer (WCW Clash of the Champions XVI: Fall Brawl September 5, 1991)

Terrance Taylor is former Red Rooster, Terry Taylor, with a fancy guy gimmick. Van Hammer is the tall guy from Raven’s Flock who wasn’t The Yeti. This is Van Hammer’s debut and it is bowling shoe ugly.

Taylor attacks Van Hammer before the bell, braining him with an early 90s laptop computer. It would be the only offense Terry Taylor’d get in this match which saw Van Hammer hit a couple clotheslines, go up top, hit an ugly knee and get the big win. To be totally honest Van Hammer’s best move was him headbanging with a Flying V guitar as he came down to the ring.

Now I can see the logic in giving a debuting dude a win, even a kind of big one, but a 39 second squash against a former champion just made Taylor look like a joke. Give Van Hammer the win after 4 or 5 minutes and he still is a guy who beat a former champ in his debut, but it doesn’t make Taylor look like a chump, or have him squash an actual jobber. But what do I know, I’m just a guy who watches wrestling.

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Tim Hall vs. “Flamboyant” Eric Embry (USWA June 29, 1991)

“That goofy Leatherface” makes his USWA debut, coming out with Embry and Ta-Gar to scare the hell out of Dave Brown and Michael St. John with his chainsaw.

Embry cuts a promo and yells some shit about Jerry Lawler. He declares, “Well you know, Lawler’s a little bit more stupider than what I thought he was,” and then gets in the ring with youngster Tim Hall.

Randy Johnson vs. Ta-Gar (USWA June 15, 1991)

Ta-Gar the Lord of Volcanoes apparently comes from space and arrived in Memphis in the summer of ‘91 looking for gladiators to challenge. A youngster by the name of Randy Johnson answers Ta-Gar’s call and promptly gets beat down via a flaming claw hold. “Superstar” Bill Dundee shows up with a chair to chase Ta-Gar off before bellowing some shit about need a belt around your waist if you want to get real paid and then challenging the decidedly beltless Ta-Gar to a match.

Memphis baby!