Reviews

NXT (June 21, 2017)

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It’s time for another installment of NXT, coming at you previously recorded from Full Sail University in Orlando, Florida. Tonight our main event pits two of NXT’s best strikers against one another as the undefeated Aleister Black takes on Kassius Ohno in the main event.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (November 2, 1985)

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It’s time for another installment of Saturday Night’s Main Event. This one took place a couple days after Halloween so the opening montage of promos features a bunch of dudes in costumes while the music from the Halloween movie franchise plays in the background.

We’ve got Mean Gene dressed up as a pumpkin with Bobby Heenan dressed up as Davy Crockett getting ready for some sort of Halloween festivities. Gene asks if Heenan’s hat is a weasel, he insists that it’s a raccoon. Heenan is practicing for the pumpkin dunk later this evening.

What’s a pumpkin dunk you ask? It’s like bobbing for apples, but instead of apples there are pumpkins, and instead of water the tub is filled with chocolate for some reason. Maybe because they’re in Hersey, PA for this installment.

We head next to Hulk Hogan screaming about his upcoming match with Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. You can tell he’s serious because he’s got his droopy ass headband on again. The last time he had that on he prevented a nuclear holocaust.

Andre shows up and chops him in the chest and is like, “Yo chillax Hogan, let’s go get ready for our match.”

Roddy Piper is dressed as Superman and is chilling with Jesse Ventura who is wearing a costume that’s probably more conservative than his normal attire. Ventura talks about how happy he is that Piper fucked up the Hillbilly wedding during the last Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Mean Gene is standing by with newcomers Terry Funk and “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Funk says that he’ll house train the JYD in their match tonight. Mean Gene criticizes Funk for having a mouth full of chaw, so Terry Funk spits it into the camera and we go to the Saturday Night’s Main Event intro.

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NXT (June 14, 2017)

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Tonight three women will step into the ring and jostle for the NXT Championship. It’s going to be an elimination match pitting Ruby Riot and Nikki Cross against the reigning champion, Asuka.

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TNA Impact! (June 4, 2004)

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This is the historic first episode of Impact. Prior to this TNA had just done weekly PPVs. There’s an opening montage of a bunch of exciting stuff from previous TNA events. We then get an off-camera Professor “Iron” Mike Tenay introducing the show as the camera pans around the Universal Studios Arena.

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (October 5, 1985)

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“WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF AN INTERNATIONAL CRISIS!” screams Mean Gene Okerlund.

What’s he talking about? Why the upcoming flag match between Nikolai Volkoff and Hulk Hogan of course!

Nikolai will not have a guilty conscious if the USSR launches nukes at the US because of the outcome of his flag match with Hulk Hogan. Hell, he says he’ll push the button himself. Or at least that’s what I think he said…it was a pretty marble-mouthed promo.

Hogan is standing by wearing the droopiest headband of all time. He vows to make sure that the only flag ever to fly in the US and A is the red, white and blue because he won’t have the little Hulkamaniacs being indoctrinated by a goddamn Bolshevik.

And now to domestic affairs! Mean Gene’s standing by with Hillbilly Jim and Uncle Elmer because there’s a hillbilly wedding taking place tonight provided we survive the nuclear strike that the Hogan vs. Volkoff match is sure to cause. Roddy Piper shows up to mock Uncle Elmer because Piper is the best and we go to the opening credits.

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WWE 205 Live (June 6, 2017)

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Tonight on a very special episode of 205 Live, TJ Perkins takes on the King of the Cruiserweights, Neville, in a match for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. Here’s a highlight package to show how these two former allies got to this point!

Highlight reel taken care of, we get the opening credits and then head down to the ring for wrestling. As always our announcers for the evening are Corey Graves and Tom “Face Fucker” Phillips.

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WWE Saturday Morning Slam (March 30, 2013)

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“Good morning WWE Universe! It’s time for another hot episode of WWE Saturday Morning Slam! Today we’ve got two hot matches comin’ atcha! United States Champion, Antonio Cesaro takes on R. Truth in our main event, but first a battle between Tons of Funk and the Prime Time Players over who is the greatest dancing tag team!” announces the unseen Saturday Morning Slam announcer guy.

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NXT (June 7, 2017)

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The show begins with a video hyping the matches between No Way Jose and Killian Dain and Hideo Itami and Oney Lorcan. We get the opening credit with their new theme song and then its on to Full Sail where the crowd is already chanting “NXT! NXT!” and then it’s on to the ring for the first match of the night.

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NXT (May 17, 2017)

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We’re three days away from TakeOver: Chicago and the champ is here! Bobby Roode is shown arriving at Full Sail University with the NXT Championship slung over his shoulder. He’s yelling at a lackey carrying his bags to hurry up. This is NXT!

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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 11, 1985)

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The first ever Saturday Night’s Main Event begins with Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter discussing strategy. Lauper tells Richter to, “make sure, Wendi, that Moolah doesn’t grab your hair, you know she loves to do that,” while Wendi Richter nods and is like “Right, right…”

We go next to Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. Hogan yells some stuff about his match with Bob Orton while Mr. T uses some sort of weird arm exercise bar thing. Mr. T has on work gloves for some reason. He cuts a promo on Piper and says, “I PITY THAT FOO!” Hogan also pities that fool and then tells us to, “Kick back and relax for Saturday Night’s Main Event!”

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