It’s weird that in the mid-90s there was a brief period where the WWE gave a shit about women’s wrestling and regularly put decent women’s wrestling matches on television and PPV. It was a relatively short lived experiment and outside of a couple outliers it would be decades before women’s wrestling was again treated seriously by Vince McMahon and company.
DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!
Lance Catamaran has had enough of this bush league broadcasting.
“You won’t be facing me! You’ll be facing my creature from the sea! I call him the Sea Creature!”
“THEY WORK HARD FOR THE CHICKENS! WE EAT CHICKENS!”
Before becoming one half of the The Hardcore Chair Swingin’ Freaks, Balls Mahoney had a stint in the WWF where he played a villainous version of Santa Claus named Xanta Klaus who lived at the South Pole and once a year roamed the Earth stealing presents from people.
He appeared a handful of times, allying himself with Ted DiBiase and messing with Savio Vega before disappearing from television and never being mentioned again when people realized that an evil Santa Claus was a stupid idea that at best only worked for a month out of the year.
Wrestling is replete with Executioners. They have long been masked fodder for true wrestling heroes to run through in squash matches. On October 20, 1996 at In Your House: Buried Alive, yet another Executioner made his debut during the first-ever “non-sanctioned” match in the history of the WWF.
The “non-sanctioned” buried alive match ended when The Undertaker dropped Mankind into a grave and covered his back with a light dusting of dirt. This apparently constituted being buried alive because the referee awarded the match to the Undertaker.
Suddenly a masked man emerged and whacked the Undertaker with a shovel. That man was known as Executioner, but beneath that shitty Halloween costume was one time denizen of Baddstreet, USA, Terry Bam Bam Gordy. He had been brought in by Paul Bearer to help Mankind deal with the Undertaker and spent the next few months doing just that.
Gordy, as Executioner, faced the Taker two months later at In Your House: It’s Time in an “Armageddon Match,” that the Undertaker won. A short time later Paul Bear fired him on a random episode of Superstars and Executioner was never seen again.
I am so glad that TJ Perkins is no longer champion. Please shuffle him down to the bottom of the card so I don’t have to see a 32 year old man try to act like a hip, with it teenager anymore.
“You been sitting out here for six months, running your mouth. This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the adjective: play. We ain’t here to play. Now he said last week that he was going to bring somebody out here. I’m here. You still don’t have your three people. You know why? Because nobody wants to face us. This show is about as interesting as Marge Schott reading excerpts from Mein Kampf. Yeah, (you don’t want) no trouble because you know I’ll kick your teeth down your throat. Where’s your three guys? What you couldn’t get a paleontologist to get a couple of these fossils cleared? You ain’t got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? Yeah, where’s Hogan? Where’s Hogan, out doing another episode of Blunder in Paradise? Where’s Macho Man, out doing another Slim Jim commercial? You want to say something? … Bring what you got. The measuring stick just changed around here, buddy – you’re looking at it.” – Kevin Nash