Kevin Sullivan & “Mad Dog” Buzz Sawyer vs. Zan Panzer & Robbie Idol (NWA World Championship Wrestling March 3, 1990)

Sullivan and Sawyer murder the two men unfortunate enough to have to face them in this match for a few minutes. Sometimes in a squash match the job guy will get one or two moves in before being completely destroyed, but that is not what happens here at all. Sawyer and Sullivan take turns manhandling Idol and Panzer who get in no offense to speak of.

The finish of the match sees Panzer get hurled out to the floor while Sawyer goes up top. He nails Idol with a big splash and covers him, but then lets him up. Sawyer goes back up top and nails Idol with another big splash. He makes another pin attempt but again lets him up. The ref thinks this is bullshit and disqualifies Sawyer for kicking too much ass awarding the match to Idol & Panzer.

Sawyer doesn’t seem to care and proceeds to choke out Idol before biting his ear. Sullivan storms off (in disgust according to the announcers) while Sawyer mauls Idol. A crew of wrestlers run out from the locker room to attempt to pull Sawyer off Idol but they are unable to do so.

Eventually Kevin Sullivan reemerges with a chain and all the guys from the locker room scatter. Sullivan chokes Sawyer with the chain and with the chain wrapped around Sawyer’s neck pulls him off Idol to bring an end to the carnage. Jim Ross, on commentary, says that he has no desire to interview Sullivan and Sawyer after the break.

Winners: Zan Panzer & Robbie Idol

This is the sort of shit I kind of miss in wrestling today. Sure guys who can do flips and shit are cool and a good addition to what wrestling can be but I miss scary motherfuckers completely and utterly wrecking house on hapless losers, which is exactly what happens here. [**½]

Meanwhile Backstage…

Back from break we get an interview with Sullivan and Sawyer. They are joined by the third man in their triad, Cactus Jack who more or less just lurks in the background while Sullivan rants about Buzz Sawyer’s mother being a nomad who wandered the deserts. Half of what Sullivan says gets bleeped out which makes it hard to follow what he’s talking about but I think that the story is that Sawyer was born in a wasteland and abandoned and then raised by wolves and thus is not responsible for the way he acts. It’s one of those promos that made the people involved in the promo seem like the most dangerous fuckers in the world and that rules.


Deonna Purrazzo vs. Matt Riddle (Beyond Wrestling & WWR Lit Up April 5, 2018)

This is Matt Riddle’s third match of the day according to commentary. He’s already faced Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr., the later of whom he bested a few hours earlier for the EVOLVE Championship.

Riddle and Purrazzo shake hands to begin. CODE OF HONOR ALL UP IN THIS MUG! Purrazzo goes for an ankle lock, apparently targeting the same limb that ZSJ worked over during their EVOLVE match. She then works an arm wringer for a bit.

There’s a bit of a playful tone to the early part of the match with each wrestler slapping the other’s hand away after exchanges or rope breaks, but eventually Deonna applies a Fujiwara Armbar and shit gets real.

Riddle goes for the Bro To Sleep but Purrazzo escapes and stomps on Riddle’s bare feet to take back over on offense. Purrazzo scores a near fall off a crossbody and seemingly has things under control but Riddle catches her on a headscissor attempt and powerbombs her. He follows with a knee strike with is enough to Purrazzo away.

Afterwards, Riddle explains to the crowd that he had to wreck shop on Purrazzo because she was kicking his ass and then offers to shake her hand.

Winner: Matt Riddle

This was short and probably a bit by the numbers but you can’t really fault them for that since Riddle had already been through two wars earlier in the day. I liked the story they told here with Riddle, either due to exhaustion or just not taking Purrazzo serious, ended up getting schooled for the bulk of the match until he finally woke up and picked up the quick win. [**½]

Brock Lesnar vs. Manabu Nakanishi (NJPW Battle Final 2005 – Day 11 December 10, 2005)

I recently decided that Manabu Nakanishi is my favorite pro-wrestler, primarily because he’s a mountain of a man that posts pictures of the insane amounts of food he consumes on Twitter. Because he’s now my favorite I figured it would probably be advised to watch some of his matches. This random match against Brock Lesnar for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship was a random thing that popped up when I searched for him.

Lesnar’s the champion here. Nakanishi takes the fight to him at the bell. This fucking rules. It’s just two big motherfuckers wailing on each other for a couple minutes before Brock Lesnar decides it’s time to have the Brock Lesnar Match™ and starts spamming suplexes. Shinsuke Nakamura’s in a tracksuit watching from the audience.

Eventually they end up out on the floor. Lesnar posts Nakanishi but gets distracted by Nakamura and Nakanishi blasts him from behind. Back in the ring Nakanishi goes up top and wrecks shop on Lesnar with a missile dropkick.

Lesnar gets back to his feet and Nakanishi hits a series of running double axe-handles that stagger Lesnar. He eventually manages to knock the champ off his feet. He gets Lesnar up in the torture rack but Lesnar hammers him in the head to escape. Nakanishi comes off the ropes but Lesnar catches him with a knee. Lesnar gets Nakanishi up and powerbombs him and then hits the F5 to retain in four minutes and twenty-seven seconds.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

Not a five star mat classic or anything, but this is everything I love about pro-wrestling. It was just two massive bastards hammering on each other. If this had gone any longer than it did it probably would have been less enjoyable than it was but a four and a half minute brawl between, to borrow a turn of phrase from JR, “two Brahma bulls,” is never not enjoyable. Plus the post credit stinger of Brock Lesnar talking about catching koi and smoking them so he could eat them is the sort of random nonsense promo shit I miss in 2018 WWE. [***]

Scarlett Bordeaux, Keyra & La Hiedra vs. Lady Maravilla, Lady Shani & Vanilla (AAA September 7, 2018)

I’m not even going to front. I totally watched this because the preview image on YouTube was Scarlett Bordeaux sticking her ass out at some luchadora. The match itself wasn’t that great. The luchadoras worked hard, Bordeaux was hot and did some basic pro-wrestling moves and took a sloppy looking armdrag and then got out of the ring while more accomplished grapplers did flips and shit.

The middle section of the match had Bordeaux’s trio clear the ring and beat down anyone who tried to get back into the ring. They eventually get sent out to the floor by Maravilla, Shani and Vanilla who then more or less repeat the spot.

The finish of the match saw Keyra hit Lady Maravilla with the Code Red to get the pin.

Winners: Keyra, Scarlett Bordeaux & La Hiedra

Like I said everyone worked pretty hard here. Scarlett Bordeaux was probably the worst worker, but did what she needed to do and then got out of the way for the most part. [**]

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Curry Man vs. Johnny Devine vs. Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy vs. Super Eric (TNA Bound For Glory IV October 12, 2008)

Oh how I love me some gimmick matches. What we got here is a 10 Man Steel Asylum Match from TNA’s 2008 Bound For Glory. What’s a Steel Asylum Match you ask? It’s really quite simple, it’s WWE’s old big blue cage with a curved roof on it and a hole at the top of the roof. To win the match you have to climb the wall of the cage, monkey bar over to the hole in the center and pull yourself out.

All ten of the dudes in the match are pretty solid workers, but with ten dudes and a wonky gimmick to boot this is a clusterfuck from the get go. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun clusterfuck, but it’s basically dudes doing crazy looking moves at a million miles an hour so you don’t even have a chance to register half the stuff that’s happening.

The finish sees Curry Man of all people scale the wall and make his way towards the hole only to be cut off by Sonjay Dutt and thrown from the top of the cage down into the ring. Jay Lethal comes up behind Dutt and they have a fistfight that leaves Sonjay dangling from the roof of the cage by his legs, leaving Lethal free to pull himself out of the cage, securing victory and a shot at the X-Division Championship.

Winner: Jay Lethal

This was an all action match. The ten dudes involved worked hard and the crowd was really into the high spots. As an opening contest this worked. As I’ve said before, I don’t need tons and tons of this sort of match, but it’s a fine thing to have on a wrestling card. [***¼]

BC Killer vs. Ruby Raze (SBW Brawl In Newhall February 28, 2015)

Time for some random intergender wrestling. I’ve never seen Ruby Raze before but BC Killer showed up in my new favorite terrible wrestling promotion, Urban Wrestling Federation.

I guess the story here is that Ruby Raze is undefeated in this promotion and asked for a match against BC Killer.

The match begins with BC (who appears to be wearing a garbage bag) telling Raze to go back to the locker room. She responds by forearming him in the face. He says she gets one of those. She responds to this by unloading on him with forearms.

She runs wild for awhile, hitting a big spear for a near fall, but ultimately gets cut off. BC Killer does some power moves on her and some clubbering, and some fat guy wrestling moves and ultimately picks up the win after hitting a Vader Bomb.

We get a bit of the post match as well where Raze offers a handshake as a show of good sportsmanship only for BC Killer to take her head off with a clothesline.

Winner: BC Killer

Ruby Raze looked pretty good on offense and I wouldn’t be adverse to seeing more of her matches. BC Killer on the other hand didn’t really show me anything here that I haven’t seen countless other “big man” wrestlers do before. [*½]

Grim Reefer vs. Lowlife Louie Ramos (USA Pro St. Valentine’s Day Massacre February 14, 2004)

So I watched a couple installments of Urban Wrestling Federation and decided to check out some random matches of some of the dudes who showed up there that I was unfamiliar with and found this 2004 match between Grim Reefer, who looked pretty good in UWF First Blood and Lowlife Louie Ramos who bled a lot.

Ramos comes out with a barbed wire bat and plastic bag of other gimmicks so I assume this is just going to be a lot of brawling but surprisingly the first half of the match is a pretty straight forward early aughts indie style in-ring encounter. Reefer does a lot of moves and then starts focusing on Ramos’ arm.

The action eventually spills out to the floor where Ramos grabs his bat, but he’s ultimately cut off by Reefer with more wrestling moves. They head back into the ring and things take a turn to the extreme. Reefer gets the barbed wire bat and works Ramos over with it before going to Ramos’ bag of gimmicks and getting the requisite bag of thumbtacks which he dumps in the middle of the ring and slams Ramos into.

He continues to work Ramos over with the barbed wire bat and randomly blasts the referee in the head with it as well. Reefer then goes back into Ramos’ bag of gimmicks and takes out a power drill and proceeds to “drill” Ramos in the head with it. He repeats this on all four sides of the ring so everyone in the audience (which includes a surprising number of children) can get a good look at it.

Ramos eventually makes his comeback by getting a fork from his bag of tricks and stabbing Reefer in the face with it. Everyone in the ring (including the referee) are now bleeding profusely.

Ramos looks like he has the match won when a trio of dudes known as the Knight Life hit the ring and work him over. This is all legal apparently since the referee watches it happen. Ramos sends them out to the floor and then comes off the ropes but gets clonked in the head with something by one of the Knight Life guys. Grim Reefer then locks on a barbed wire bat assisted Crippler Crossface and Ramos passes out.

Winner: Grim Reefer

The first half of this match was actually pretty good. Reefer looked decent in the ring and Ramos served as a good base to catch for him and bumped pretty well. The back half of the match was not particularly good. The powerdrill spot looked cheesy as hell and all the other hardcore spots are things I’ve seen done a million times before by guys who understand ring psychology better than these two. The run-in at the end probably would have made more sense if I had some knowledge of USA Pro storylines from 2004, but I don’t so it was just more random stuff in a match that was already kind of overbooked. [*½]

The Conquistador vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dr. Winston Von Voorhees vs. El Hombre Sin Nombre vs. Franz The Belgian Waffler vs. Gregor Valkan vs. Stanislav The Squeezer vs. The Chilean Sea Bass vs. The Sultan of Shawarma vs. Thunder Montgomery (WWE RAW October 8, 2018)

So the WWE is heading back to Saudi Arabia for some more of that sweet, sweet oil money and this time around they’re apparently having a tournament to determine who the best wrestler in the world is. Baron Corbin, the Raw GM, decided to hold a ten man battle royal, the winner of which would get a spot in that tournament.

He put himself in the match and then filled the remaining nine spots with enhancement talent in 1980s style ethnic gimmicks. The match would see the return of WWE Legend The Conquistador alongside this bevy of local talent pretending not to be local.

The match was pretty much exactly what you’d expect. Baron made short work of the job guys while the Conquistador chilled on the outside. Conquistador then came in at the end and laid waste to Corbin with German suplexes and tossed him out of the ring and then revealed himself to be none other than Kurt Angle who picked up the win and qualified for a chance to get that Saudi money!

Winner: Kurt Angle

On occasion I like goofy bullshit like this. For an angle this match did it right since they kept it short and had the heel end up looking like an idiot. It also gave a bunch of dudes a chance to get on TV which is good for young dudes (and Flash Flanagan) trying to get that money! [NR]

Sumire Natsu vs. Kana (Pro Wrestling Wave October 30, 2013)

So this is Sumire Natsu’s debut match and she’s going up against the woman who would become Asuka, Kana. Talk about a trial by fire.

We get a little pre-match promo from Natsu before the bout, though what she says I could not say, since my knowledge of Japanese is pretty much non-existent. After that she makes her entrance, getting the Goldberg treatment, as she she shown walking from the backstage area out to the ring (she lacks Goldberg’s phalanx of cops).

Kana, still in her Nazi zombie phase, heads out next and the match gets underway. Sumire offers a handshake, but Kana does not wish to abide by the Code of Honor. Sumire unloads on Kana with a bunch of forearm strikes that Kana just kind of shrugs off before unloading with strikes of her own.

Kana spends the bulk of the match toying with the rookie, swatting her out of the air when she goes for dropkicks and halfheartedly kicking at Sumire when she ends up on the mat.

Sumire gets a couple near falls that basically do nothing but fire Kana up who tosses her around a bit and then gets her to tap out with an armbar about eight minutes into the match.

Random ladies hit the ring with icepacks and stuff to tend to Sumire and then Kana kneels down and shakes her hand. I guess in taking a hellacious beating, Sumire Natsu earned Kana’s respect.

We then get a post-match promo thing from Sumire recorded backstage, but again, I’ve got no idea what she was talking about.

Winner: Kana

I guess for a debut match it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Sumire was good on the sell, but a lot of her offense looked kind of sloppy and it looked like she botched a couple things. Since this match took place five years ago, I know she gets much better than she was here but as a stand alone match this wasn’t particular inspired. [*⅔]

Atsushi Onita vs. Masahiro Chono (NJPW Strong Style Symphony – New Japan Spirit 1999 April 10, 1999)

I suppose a little backstory is in order. In 1998 Atsushi Onita left FMW after being told by then owner, Shoichi Arai, that due to Onita’s attitude towards other wrestlers on the roster and FMW’s shift away from deathmatch wrestling, he needed to leave.

Somehow this lead to Onita showing up in New Japan and challenging Riki Choshu to a barbed wire deathmatch. Choshu, who was serving as booker at the time, was retired and so in January 1999 booked Onita in a match against Kensuke Sasaki. Onita lost that match but still persisted and demanded Choshu come out of retirement to face him which brings us to today’s match.

Again, Choshu refused to face Onita, instead booking him in a match against former IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Masahiro Chono…in a goddamn exploding barbed wire match.

The match begins with a pair of the greatest ring entrances I’ve ever seen in my life. Onita is out first. He saunters down to the ring with a folding chair slung over his shoulder while “Wild Thing” blares. The normally staid Japanese audience gives him the WCW audience treatment and pelts him with trash as he walks down the aisle. At one point he stops, unfolds his chair and after lighting up a cigarette slumps down into it and smirks while the fans continue to hurl garbage at him.

Chono then proceeds to roll in a goddamn Humvee and march down to the ring with a cigar clenched between his teeth. He seems to be unsure of how to actually get into the ring since this is his first time in an exploding barbed wire deathmatch, but ultimately rolls into the ring and it’s time for the match to begin in earnest.

Like most Japanese deathmatches of yore, this begins with some basic wrestling and punch-kicking with teases of guys getting thrown into the barbed wire only for them to throw on the breaks at the last second. Eventually Chono gets Onita in the STF and some sirens sound which I guess means the bombs are now activated or something.

Chono releases the hold and grabs the chair that Onita had brought out with him and hurls it at him only for Onita to duck. The chair flies into the barbed wire, setting off an explosion that knocks both men and the referee on their asses in one of the best spots of the entire match.

We then get some back and forth with both guys ultimately ending up in the exploding barbed wire. Onita’s arm is opened up pretty good after he goes into the ropes so Chono beats on and yells “This is not wrestling!” at him in English for some reason.

Eventually there’s a ref bump that involves the referee, Onita, and Chono all going into the barbed wire and having it explode. A new referee, who had been out on the floor wearing ski goggles for the entire match, hops into the ring and checks on his fallen co-worker (the other ref was wearing a completely different uniform which said WAR on the back of his shirt so I don’t know if they actually worked together or not) while Chono has a visible pin on Onita.

Onita manages to kick out by the time the new ref realizes there’s a pin to be counted. Chono spams Yakuza Kicks on Onita but Onita keeps kicking out. Onita gets back to his feet and grabs a side headlock. Chono tries to get out of it with a backdrop suplex but Onita holds on and gets back to his feet driving Chono back into the barbed wire for another explosion.

Both men are down so the referee begins to administer a ten count. Onita staggers back to his feet, but then promptly collapses and the match ends with a double knock out.

Winner: Double Knock Out

Aside from the twin novelties of seeing a No Rope Explosive Barbed Wire Deathmatch being contested in a New Japan ring and Masahiro Chono in a garbage wrestling match this match is not particularly good. As is generally the case with these things there are a couple high spots but the bulk of the match is just mediocre brawling while guys attempt to push each other into the barbed wire.

The ending was kind of a disappointment too but I guess it lead to Chono and Onita respecting each other and teaming up with Chono to take on nWo Japan later that year because NJPW in 1999 was insane. [**]