Dear God, this match…of all the random full length matches WWE could put up for free on the internet in an effort to get people to sign up for the WWE Network, this is the one they selected.
So Show and Kane have a hoss fight. They slowly clubber one another for awhile. JR calls it an “ugly match” which is code for “I also think this match is complete shit, but I have to act like it isn’t.”
They colossal jostle for awhile until the arena suddenly is bathed in a weird, red light, while voices muttering, “May 19!” are piped in over the PA.
Kane starts beating himself up. Show gets in the ring, seems like he missed a cue or something, heads back out of the ring, grabs a chair, gets back in the ring, brains Kane with the chair causing the voices to stop and the lights to return to normal, and then just heads up the ramp looking absolutely disgusted.
Complete and utter shit.
After watching One Night Stand I decided to start watching WWE’s version of ECW. I’ve made a huge mistake…
Terrance Taylor is former Red Rooster, Terry Taylor, with a fancy guy gimmick. Van Hammer is the tall guy from Raven’s Flock who wasn’t The Yeti. This is Van Hammer’s debut and it is bowling shoe ugly.
Taylor attacks Van Hammer before the bell, braining him with an early 90s laptop computer. It would be the only offense Terry Taylor’d get in this match which saw Van Hammer hit a couple clotheslines, go up top, hit an ugly knee and get the big win. To be totally honest Van Hammer’s best move was him headbanging with a Flying V guitar as he came down to the ring.
Now I can see the logic in giving a debuting dude a win, even a kind of big one, but a 39 second squash against a former champion just made Taylor look like a joke. Give Van Hammer the win after 4 or 5 minutes and he still is a guy who beat a former champ in his debut, but it doesn’t make Taylor look like a chump, or have him squash an actual jobber. But what do I know, I’m just a guy who watches wrestling.
Headlocks and hammerlocks are the order of the day until Haystack invents the Fat Guy Wrestler move set and slams his girth into Rogers and nails him with a big splash. Rogers gets fired up and hits a bunch of dropkicks that send Calhoun tumbling out of the ring. A ring rope breaks and Calhoun and apparently bloodied, and stuck under the ring and thus unable to answer the rapidfire 1960s ten count. Probably one of the better fuck finishes I’ve seen recently.
Also the belt Rogers is wearing here I think is the same NWA United States Championship belt thatwould become the first version of the WWWF World Heavyweight Championship a couple years after this match.
Mankind’s Hardcore Championship is on the line in a ladder match, but the deck is stacked against him. Can Mankind overcome the odds or with The Corporation reign supreme? Watch this match and find out!
This is bizarre. After a hype package for Yumi Fukawa talking about how she’s a master of fighting in any environment we head to a water slide park.
Nobue Endo comes down a water slide and the proceeds to beat up Yumi Fukawa poolside. Fukawa chucks Endo off some bridge thing into a pool to turn the tables. There’s an underwater figure four leg lock applied and a ref shows up and the match gets underway in earnest.
They wrestle on a couple gym mats that have been set up at poolside while visitors to the water slide park look on. There are dropkicks and armbars and stuff before Fukawa picks up the win with a backslide.
After the match Miss Hong Kong, who was apparently at the water park, expresses her appreciation for the match stating she’d never seen women wrestle before and thought it was sexy.
I have absolutely no idea why this match happened but the fact that Kurt Angle faced The Brooklyn Brawler in ECW in 2006 is one of those things that make me love wrestling.
For people who think that fans chanting random bullshit during matches is a modern problem in wrestling, go back and watch Kurt Angle’s debut. In the opening moments we get a “boring” chant as Angle does actual wrestling. From there they decide to go with a “Let’s go Red Wings!” chant. They would return to this chant several times during the match. At one point Angle gets out of the ring and gets on the mic to yell at them for having the audacity to boo an Olympic champion.
Outside of the crowd it’s a pretty fine bout of grappling though there are a couple weird things in it. First it’s so weird to hear Kurt Angle’s theme song without people chanting, “YOU SUCK!” during it and second Angle won with the Angle Slam, but Stasiak just leaped up like 2 seconds after being pinned.
It’s fuckin’ Biomonster DNA! Here we have my main biomonster teaming up with a dude dressed like a Putty from Power Rangers taking on a couple of dudes in dodgy hero costumes. It’s DDT y’all!