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Stone Cold Steve Austin (WWF 2000)

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How did Kurt Angle never do one of these ads?

The Hype Bros. (WWE November 2016)

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Not since Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire tried to sell me an Ultimate Warrior “suck cup,” has a duo of wrestlers hocking WWE merchandise filled me with as much glee as Messrs. Ryder and Rawley do in this advertisement for the WWE Shop.

Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire (WWF 1990)

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I really want an Ultimate Warrior “suck cup.”