WWE Saturday Morning Slam (September 29, 2012)

Saturday Morning Slam

Grab a bowl of Kaboom because it’s time for another episode of Saturday Morning Slam. This week we’re kicking things off with some exciting in ring action so let’s get down to the ring with Josh Mathews and The Miz.

Match 1: Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater

Santino does some karate at the bell and then goes after Slater with the Cobra but Slater runs away. Santino stays on him trying to strike with the Cobra but he gets shoved by Slater. Santino comes back and is ready to strike with the Cobra but Slater backs into the corner.

Santino gets Slater in a headlock but Slater counters by tossing Santino off the ropes. The two men then collide shoulder to shoulder and have a staredown. Slater plays his air guitar and the crowd boos. Santino responds by playing the air trombone and the crowd goes wild.

Slater gets Santino in a headlock and this time it’s Santino who counters by sending Slater into the ropes. Again the two men collide and Santino plays the air guitar. Slater responds with an air trombone of his own which is met with a chorus of boos from the crowd.

And so begins the greatest chain wrestling exchange in the history of our sport. Santino plays an air flute which Slater counters with air drums. Santino quickly reverses it into an air piano only to be stymied when Slater performs the dreaded air harmonica. Santino goes for an air violin and Slater responds with a poorly executed air one man band knee cymbals. Santino capitalizes on Slater’s misstep and finishes him off with a massive air standup bass.

Slater is visibly upset by this and ends up running right into an armdrag. He rolls out of the ring and proceeds to jaw with The Miz at the announce table about who one the air instrument showdown as we go to commercial. TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING!

We return from the break not with in ring action but with a PSA from The Miz imploring us not to give our friends a Macho Man elbow drop from the top bunk or something.

Back in the ring Santino whips Slater into the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Slater saves himself from getting a dropkick to the midsection by holding onto the ropes. Slater taunts Santino before dropping a knee on Santino and applying a body scissors. Santino manages to reverse it into a pin that earns him a near fall.

Both men get back to their feet and Slater tosses Santino into the corner and then hits him with a tackle as Santino turns around. Slater repeats this in the opposite corner and goes for a pin but Santino kicks out at two.

Slater goes back to the body scissor, but Santino manages to chuck him over his shoulder. He goes after Slater in the corner but Slater moves and Santino further damages his already injured midsection.

Slater goes back to the body scissors and attempts to pin Santino, but Santino counters by tickling Slater causing him to break the hold. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.

Both men get to their feet. Slater shoves Santino into the corner and then whips him hard into the opposite corner. Back to the body scissors goes Slater but Santino gets fired up and hits his split hip toss thing and his headbutt.

Santino gets the Cobra and strikes but Slater manages to evade four or five times. He fights off the Cobra and then goes for a kick but Santino manages to strike Slater in the thigh with the Cobra. Slater limps around for a second and Santino gets him with a roll up to pick up the win.

Winner: Santino Marello

This was a fine comedy match and probably the closest WWE is going to get to doing a Chikara style bout. The air instrument showdown probably would have pissed off Jim Cornette but I thought it was pretty fun. I don’t need to see this sort of match every week, but as a one off thing I thought it was decent enough. [**]

Saturday Morning Spotlight

This week’s superstar is Cody Rhodes. We see some footage of him in ring. Nothing really to write home about. He doesn’t teach us how to do a 619 or anything, but he does introduce this week’s Fave Five…

Fave Five

This week’s Fave Five is all about vain WWE superstars. They are as follows…

  • “The Narcissist” Lex Luger
  • Rick “The Model” Martel
  • “Ravishing” Rick Rude
  • “HBK” Shawn Michaels
  • “Dashing” Cody Rhodes

The Third Degree

As Lex Luger and countless others have proven it takes more than good looks to be a great pro-wrestler. You also need athletic prowess. In this week’s Third Degree WWE superstars talk about their favorite sports while growing up. Beth Phoenix was apparently a tennis player while Daniel Bryan played every sport and was on every team in high school.

Pop Quiz

Beth Phoenix is here to ask us which WWE superstar won the first Ironman Match in WWE history. Was it Stone Cold Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, or Bret Hart?

Video Vault

Back from commercials and it’s time for the Video Vault. This week we take a look at some of the sports and fitness based wrestlers from the WWE’s past. We get a look at Wrestlecrap like Simon Deen, The Goon, and Abe “Knuckleball” Swartz before wrapping things up with Mister Perfect.

Pop Quiz

Beth Phoenix returns to inform us that it was the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels who had the distinction of being the first man to win an Ironman match in WWE history.

Health Tips from John Cena

Before we close things out for the week John Cena shows up to offer up some tips for healthy living. We need to start each day with a healthy breakfast, stay active and get a good night’s rest. Thanks John!

Tune in next time when we’ll get a look at the master of the Cobra, Santino Marella!

Final Thoughts

Overall this was a fun, frivolous episode of Saturday Morning Slam. The match was goofy and more or less meaningless but a nice reminder that the WWE can do other kinds of matches beside their formulaic everyone kicks out of a dozen finishers “big fight feel” bouts. The other stuff was pretty much filler but fine for the target audience (a group to which I most certainly do not belong).

Saturday Morning Slam continues to be an easy to watch 22 minutes of wrestling related programming that I continue to enjoy.

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