It’s fuckin’ Biomonster DNA! Here we have my main biomonster teaming up with a dude dressed like a Putty from Power Rangers taking on a couple of dudes in dodgy hero costumes. It’s DDT y’all!
We get a cold open of Jerry Lawler going into Sable’s dressing room. He wants to know what kind of bikini she’s going to wear for the bikini contest. She tells him that a picture is worth a thousand words or something and offers to show him.
Sable goes behind one of those dressing screens and strips off her top and tosses it out to Lawler and then invites him behind the screen for a peak. Jerry Lawler basically has an aneurysm.
We then get a hype video for the show talking about the shit going on with Taker and Austin and wondering if they can coexist tonight when they face Kane and Mankind for the tag team titles. It’s not one of the better hype videos WWE has done, but for an In Your House PPV I guess it suffices.
Some more Future of Honor. This week we got a smiling, white meat babyface in the form of Eli Isom going up against Foxx Vinyer, a dude that appears to be the lovechild of The Ultimate Warrior and Big Japan Pro Wrestling’s Jaki Numazawa.
This is apparently Isom’s first match ever so don’t expect a five star mat classic here, but he’s okay on the mic and isn’t awful in the ring. There are a couple spots where he kind of pauses between moves but he doesn’t botch anything so I think with a few more matches under his belt he’ll probably be alright.
Welcome everyone to WWF Shotgun Saturday Night! It’s 1998 so it’s no longer that weird WWF show that seemed to be aping the aesthetic style of ECW and having matches with midgets and shit. Now it’s just a b-show for midcarders. Our announcers for the evening are Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole, and Christ on a crutch are they terrible. Hopefully the in ring action isn’t that bad.
Fireworks explode and JR and Lawler welcome us to Monday Night Raw. Shawn Michaels is not with them this week, at least not yet. JR gives us a rundown of some of the matches scheduled for tonight and says that before any of that can get underway WWF owner, Mr. McMahon has some shit to say about what happened last week.
Time for some NWA Chicago! Today we have the youngster, Jim Graham, taking on Bozo Brown. I don’t know who Jim Graham is/was, but Bozo Brown would go on to be “Spaceman” Frank Hickey and wrestle everywhere pretty much until he died in 1993 (some of his final matches were teaming with a young Brian “Grandmaster Sexay” Christopher).
The Code of Honor is not adhered to by Brown as the match gets underway, and oh what a match it is! If you like sloppy 1950s action with lots of hip tosses and rest holds this is the match for you. The announcer kind of improves it by delivering random sardonic one liners (“I’ll put gravel in your oatmeal!”) throughout the match, but other than that it’s a pretty bare bones match.
Graham ends up picking up the win when Bozo Brown goes out to the apron and gets counted out in ten legit seconds. Having watched a million WWE matches where the 10 count sometimes takes a full minute I have to admit that I was kind of confused when the bell rang seconds after Brown went to the outside.
This is the true story, of two Antonios, picked to enter a ring, work together, and have their match taped. Find out what happens, when The Great Antonio stops being polite, and starts getting real…
Ric Flair loves to fight with Big Boys That Love to Roughhouse! We get footage of him fighting and ultimately pinning Vader that apparently proves the point that Ric Flair is not afraid of Kevin Nash while also burying a dude who was no longer with WCW.
We go to the announce team for the evening: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Larry Zybyszko. They tell us that because of the NBA Playoffs, Nitro is only an hour long this week and then some bagpipes hit.
We start things off tonight with a video package of cool cruiserweight flips and dives and shit before transitioning into Drew Gulak’s campaign to make 205 Live a no fly zone. We get a rundown of the feud between Gulak and Mustafa Ali. They’ve had four matches against each other and are tied at two wins each. Tonight they’ll settle things once and for all with a Two Out of Three Falls match.
Saturday Night Live will not be seen tonight so we can bring you this special previously taped presentation of Saturday Night’s Main Event. Saturday Night Live will return next week with John Lithgow and Mr. Mister…
We begin tonight with Mr. T working over a heavy bag. Mean Gene shows up to ask him about his upcoming match tonight with Bob Orton. Mr. T calls Mean Gene a fool for interrupting a man during his workout and then says that when he gets done with Bob Orton he’s going to look like Mean Gene.