It’s time for some Eastern Championship Wrestling baby! I had notes from this episode typed up but never published and have no idea why. I’m guessing that at some point it was one of the earliest ECW offerings on the WWE Network. I don’t think that’s the case anymore but whatever, here’s an episode of ECW from 1993!
Match 1: The Public Enemy vs. The Silver Jet & Gino Caruso
The match begins already in progress with Grunge overwhelming Caruso. Rocco Rock comes in and elbows Caruso in the corner. He goes for an elbow drop but misses and the HOT TAG to Silver Jet.
Jet hits some elbows of his own and goes for a cover, but Rocco Rock kicks out and lays into Silver Jet with elbows and kicks. He hamstrings Jet and after Jet misses a clothesline, Rocco Rock hits a moonsault off the middle rope for a two count.
Rocco throws Jet into the corner and Grunge tags in. He hits a powerslam on Silver Jet and then after taunting the crowd hits a reverse bulldog. Rocco Rock tags back in and goes up to the top rope where he hits a moonsault for the 1-2-3.
Winners: The Public Enemy
This match was sloppy as fuck, but that’s par for the course with ECW…especially in Eastern Championship Wrestling form. I’m always surprised that Rocco Rock was actually a pretty decent Junior/Light Heavyweight wrestler prior to become Rocco Rock and could hit some decent looking aerial maneuvers.
Match 2: Sabu vs. The Tazmaniac
We return from commercial break to see Sabu getting rolled out on a gurney, all Hannibal Lectered out as Hunter Q. Robbins introduces him. Taz is in the ring menacing Robbins when Sabu breaks free and attacks Taz from behind. He drops Taz and then slingshots himself into the ring with a legdrop. Sabu pulls Taz back to his feet and throws him through the ropes out to the floor and then hits a springboard moonsault off the top rope. TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING!
Back from break and Sabu is going apeshit out in the audience, with fans scurrying out of the way as he slings chairs about. Taz attacks him and they fight throughout the arena throwing random shit at each other. Sabu gets a table and drags it to the ring.
They head back into the ring and Taz beats on Sabu. He whips Sabu into the ropes and goes for a BIG BACK BODY DROP, but Sabu flips through and kicks him. Taz bails to the outside, but Sabu’s like, “F that!” and slingshots out of the ring and hits Taz in the crowd with a senton.
On the outside they trade punches. Taz whips Sabu into the ring apron and then picks up a chair and hurls it at Sabu and then wails on him with other chairs. Sabu gets back in control and whips Taz into the apron and then goes up to the apron to do a springboard moonsault off the top rope onto Taz on the outside. It looks like Sabu hit his ankle on the apron on his way down. He limps into the ring.
Taz crawls into the ring after him. Sabu goes for a punch but misses and Taz hits a belly-to-back suplex. He stomps on Sabu for awhile and then hits a belly-to-belly suplex and goes for the pin. Sabu kicks out and unloads with rights. Taz returns with some punches of his own.
Sabu gets Taz in an ankle lock, but Taz pulls Sabu’s hair to break free. He clubbers Sabu and whips him off the ropes and then turns him inside-out with a clothesline. Taz gets Sabu in a chokehold and then fishhooks him. Sabu gets tossed to the outside for the one billionth time. He’s holding the back of his neck with one hand and his ankle with the other.
Taz heads to the outside and gets a table he slides into the ring. Sabu climbs back in and kicks Taz before he can get to the table. Sabu kicks Taz in the back a few times and then sets up the table. Taz gets put on top of the table. It breaks in half under his weight. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ASSES!
Sabu turns around and gets belly-to-bellyed into the crumpled heap of table chunks. Taz tries to pull a metal chunk off the table, but gets kicked to the mat by Sabu. Sabu goes for a legdrop off the ropes, but Taz moves so Sabu lands on the table chunks.
Taz hits a snapmare takeover and rubs Sabu’s face into the mat and then bites his face. Sabu fights back and gets Taz into the corner. He hits a forearm and the flips backwards and nails Taz clothesline. Taz hits a clothesline of his own and Irish whips Sabu but it gets reversed. Sabu hits another clothesline and then sets up Taz on the top turnbuckle and goes for a hurracanrana, but Taz holds on and Sabu crashes and burns.
Taz goes for some sort of front flip legdrop deal off the top rope, but mostly misses and dies from the move. Sabu is the first man back to his feet. He drags Taz’s body to the corner and goes up top. Sabu nails a moonsault and makes the cover. One! Two! Three!
After the commercial break we see Sabu still tearing apart the arena. He hits a moonsault on a table in the ring, tears it apart and then hits another moonsault on the now demolished table. HE’S HARDCORE! HE’S HARDCORE!
This was a decent enough “arena brawl” made more tolerable by the fact that it was really the only match that involved fighting in the audience in the entire episode. Later on ECW would go to the “arena brawl” too many times in a single episode making it all feel kind of sub-par but here it feels kind of different and fresh.
The Rockin’ Rebel cuts a shitting promo about finishing off Sal Bellomo and putting him in the hospital. Fuck this guy.
Match 3: The Sandman vs. The Metal Maniac
This is so weird. The Sandman is not that fat. He is doing dropkicks and stuff. He’s wearing a “wetsuit” instead of Zubaz and grimy Budweiser t-shirt because apparently he’s a surfer…
They circle a bit before Sandman attacks. He schoolboys Maniac and rolls him up in the corner, but lets him go. He gets the Maniac in a reverse waistlock and does an Greco-Roman wrestling style takedown that he transitions into a side headlock. Scientific wrestling in ECW…from the Sandman. I have no fucking clue what is happening here.
The Metal Maniac gets to the ropes for a rope break…because old ECW still had rules. They lock up again and Sandman gets the Metal Maniac in an armbar. He whips the Maniac off the ropes hits a reverse elbow and goes for a lateral press that earns a two count.
Maniac gets back to his feet, but Sandman hits a dropkick that sends the Maniac to the outside. Sandman heads to the ropes, but the ref stops him. Sandman and the ref argue which allows Maniac to recover. Maniac grabs Sandman’s leg and and whips it into the ringpost.
Maniac comes back in and chokes Sandman with the ring ropes but the ref breaks it up. He gouges Sandman’s eyes and then hits an ugly looking side suplex. He goes for a pin, but Sandman kicks out immediately. Metal Maniac chokes Sandman on the mat. He then pulls up Sandman and whips him off the ropes. CLOTHESLINE!
Maniac goes for pinfall. Sandman kicks out. Maniac tries again. Again Sandman kicks out. He whips Sandman off the ropes again, but Sandman knees the Metal Maniac in the head and knocks him down.
Sandman goes foes a kick but the Metal Maniac catches his boot. The Sandman hits an Enziguri! He the goes up top and hits a diving lariat. Sandman with the pin. One! Two! Three!
This was a weird ass match to watch. The Sandman was doing actual wrestling and wasn’t a big fat drunk guy in Zubaz pants yet. Besides that weirdness though it was a pretty mediocre match. A fine match for TV, but not something that’s ever going on a The Best of ECW DVD or anything like that.
Match 4: “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka vs. Terry Funk
This is a cage match for the ECW TV Championship. It’s through the door or over the top to the floor to win this match. Both men take their time getting into the cage and circling. This is going to be a lot of rest holds isn’t it?
The match gets underway with Snuka and Funk colliding. Snuka kicks Funk in the midsection and then unloads with a series of rights. He whips Funk into one corner, and then the other. Snuka clubbers Funk and then whips him into the corner again. Funk hits the turnbuckle so hard that the top rope snaps and becomes really loose.
Paul Heyman is on commentary and talks about how when the ECW merged with the NWA all the contracts were reviewed and he is no longer Jimmy Snuka’s manager.
Snuka hits Funk with some chops to the chest, but Funk gets some distance by throwing a wild left that causes Snuke to back up. The two men lock up in a collar and elbow tie-up. Snuka, being the more roided up of the two, backs Funk into the ropes and knees him a couple times and then runs Funk across the ring and into the cage face-first.
Funk gets in a boxer’s stance and starts bouncing around throwing lefts. He chases after Snuka but Snuka hits another kick to the midsection and then follows up with a series of punches and chops. Snuka gets Funk up and nails him with a piledriver in the center of the ring.
Funk writhes around like he’s dying and Snuka walks over to the cage door. He then begins to climb the cage for some dumbass reason. Funk recovers and cuts him off. The two men meet on the top rope and start trading punches and headbutts there on the top rope.
Funk starts climbing. Snuka hits him in the head causing Funk to nearly fall out of the cage to the floor, but Snuka grabs him and pulls him back into the ring. Funk falls and lands balls first on the top rope.
Back in the ring Snuka rakes Funk’s face along the cage. Funk fights back and rams Snuka into each side of the cage and then wrecks his shit with a piledriver. Both men are busted open.
Funk, instead of attempting to escape, decides to do some more damage. He pulls of Snuka by his hair and starts headbutting Snuka, but Snuka is an Islander brudda, so headbutts have no effect on him. Terry Funk collapses in a heap. Snuka scoops him up for a scoop slam and then goes to the middle rope for a diving headbutt that misses as Funk rolls out of the way.
Funk gets back to his feet and looks to be setting up for a suplex as we go to commercial break. TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING!
We come back from break to see both men on the top rope trading headbutts and hanging on to the cage. Funk gets to the top of the cage, but gets hung upside on it. Snuka unloads with some knees that knocks Funk down to the mat and then hits a swinging neckbreaker. He follows up with a backbreaker. TAPE MACHINES ARE ROLLING!
Back from break to see Funk and Snuka standing toe to toe trading rights. They then take turns slamming each others’ face into the cage. Funk starts climbing and gets over the top, but Snuka hold onto his leg to prevent him from escaping. Funk kicks him off and falls of the cage to the outside to pick up the win.
After the match Funk goes nuts and starts swinging a chair around. He nails a cameraman with it and then starts chucking chairs into the ring for some reason.
Winner: Terry Funk
This was a pretty decent match. It wasn’t the greatest cage match of all time, but for something that was shown on free television, it was pretty good and was one of the better matches on this particular episode of ECW.
Meanwhile in an Empty Arena…
Joey Styles is in an empty arena with Terry Funk for a sit down interview. Funk gives credit to Snuka for being a great wrestler and then says that he chose to come to compete in ECW and that the ECW TV Championship means as much to him as the WWF and WCW Titles.
Funk says that he’s no spring chicken but wants to finish his career on his terms and with dignity. He praises the young and old wrestlers in ECW, all the fans who show up, and ECW owner, Tod Gordon.
Meanwhile in Paul Heyman’s Laundry Room Backstage…
Paul Heyman is outside the door of Jimmy Snuka’s locker room trying to get Snuka to come out for an interview. Paul talks to the camera about what happened and then says he’ll go in an get an answer from Snuka. He tries to open the door but gets it slammed in his face.
Meanwhile Somewhere Else in Paul Heyman’s Laundry Room Backstage…
Joey Styles is standing outside the locker room of Terry Funk, where you can here a party going on. Someone from off camera is throwing bits of paper at Styles. He bobs and weaves to avoid this trash as if it’s lefts and rights. He tells us that next week we’ll see Bad Company in action and a main event of Jimmy Snuka, Don Morocco and Kevin Sullivan going up against JT Smith, Terry Funk and Abdullah the Butcher. Someone pours beer on Styles. This is so low rent looking.
The cage match between Snuka and Funk and the Sabu vs. Taz match were both pretty good. The other two matches here were not particular good. Neither one was terrible, but they were nothing to write home about. The Funk promo after winning the belt was goddamn fantastic. He really is one of the best talkers of all time…maybe even the best because he could do the “I’m crazy and going to hurt you you egg sucking dog!” promos and the heart-felt, “I’m humbled by this championship,” promos, particularly as he got older.