ECW (February 8, 1994)

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“Saturday February 5, 1994. The Night the Line was Crossed.” We start the episode off with the ending to the three way dance between Sabu, Funk, and Douglas with the ring announcer declaring the match a 60 minute time limit draw. The fans are on their feet and clapping. Joey Styles is like, “WHAT IS THIS?! JAPAN?!” before we get the opening credits.

We’re back to the earlier generic riff rock WWE had dubbed in rather than the weird quasi-industrial music they used last week which leads me to believe that the music was the same just unrecognizable due to the horrible audio quality in that episode.

 In The ECW Command Center…

Joey Styles is in the Command Center with gigantic headphones. He tells us about how dick fucking awesome the show on February 5th was and then informs us that after the show on Saturday Shane Douglas crossed the line. What precisely he means by this I have no idea since none of the supercards from ’94 are on the WWE Network, but that’s okay because we’ll see footage of this line crossing at the end of the show.

Joey then throws down to the ring for in ring action!

Match 1: 911 (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Mikey Whipwreck

And what action it is! Chokeslam. Arrogant pin. One! Two! Three! Chokeslam. Paul Heyman taunts Mikey Whipwreck. Chokeslam. Paul Heyman tells 911 he’s done enough. Joey Styles says something along the lines of, “Get ready for seeing a lot of chokeslams and 7 second squash matches because that’s what coming with this guy!”

Winner: 911

It’s kind of amazing how over 911 got for chokeslamming dudes and wearing a leather jacket with fringe. A couple weeks in and I’m already kind of bored of his shtick.

Video Clip!

“On February 5th, the Line Was Crossed.” The line that was crossed apparently involved a Bruise Brother slamming Rocco Rock onto an announce table and Joey Styles freaking the fuck out, because that’s what happens in the video clip.

“ECW…It’s not a secret anymore!”

Video Clip!

“On February 5th, the Line was Crossed.” The line that was crossed apparently involved Paul E. running to the ring and hitting Sherri Martel in the back of his head with his phone, causing Shane Douglas to drop Heyman with a fist to the face, because that’s what happens in the video clip.

“ECW….It’s not a secret anymore!”

Meanwhile In the ECW Command Center…

Joey talks about how Shane Douglas is a dick and promises to show footage of how horrible he is but warns viewers that it’s kind of graphic so parents might want to send their kids away before it airs. What? What kind of parent is letting their kid watch ECW? Content aside, wasn’t it on TV at like 1:oo in the morning? That’s when it aired in New York at least. Shrug.

He then informs us that everyone’s favorite underdog, Chad Austin, is going to take on Johnny Hotbody in a rematch and that Hotbody will have his long time partner, Tony “Hitman” Stetson, with him at ringside.

Match 2: Johnny Hotbody (w/ Tony Stetson) vs. Chad Austin

I guess Chad Austin was the winner of that match last week or at least more of a winner than Johnny Hotbody was since Hotbody’s apparently looking for revenge in this match.

Stetson mocks Hotbody for getting knocked the fuck out by Austin last week as the match gets underway. Hotbody gets mad and locks up with Austin, muscling him into the corner. Stetson keeps making fun of Hotbody allowing Austin to get the upper hand. Hotbody starts arguing with Stetson and Austin rolls him up for a two count.

After a whip off the ropes, Austin gets a hiptoss and Johnny Hotbody bails to the floor. He and Stetson are arguing on the outside while the ref counts. Hotbody comes back in and locks up with Austin again. They go into the ropes and Hotbody hits Austin with a forearm and then goes back to jawing with Stetson. Austin again tries to capitalize on the distraction and goes for a sunset flip and scores another near fall.

Hotbody whips Austin off the ropes, but Austin nails him with a spinkick that sends him bailing to the floor once again. Stetson continues to bust his balls asking Hotbody what was wrong with him. “He’s just a little kid!” says Stetson.

Austin brings Hotbody back into the ring the hard way but Hotbody finally gets the upper hand. He nails Chad Austin with some forearms before turning him inside out with a clothesline. He body slams Austin and then goes for a suplex but Austin reverses it into a roll up for the win.

Post-match Hotbody and Stetson continue to argue with one another as they head to the back.

Winner: Chad Austin

There wasn’t much to this match since it seemed more to set up a feud between Stetson and Hotbody than anything else.

Video Clip!

“On February 5th, the Line was Crossed.” The line that was crossed apparently involved “Awesome” Mike Awesome leaping over the rope rope onto J.T. Smith on the floor, causing Smith’s spine to bend backwards over the guardrail, because that’s what happens in the video clip.

“ECW…It’s not a secret anymore!”

Match 3: Pat Tanaka vs. Keith Shearer

Paul Diamond is still out with an injury so Tanaka’s flying solo tonight. He thinks he’s in Ring of Honor and offers Shearer a handshake pre-match. Shearer obliges until Tanaka turns his back on him at which point Shearer nails him from behind. Shearer lays in some punches while Tanaka’s in the corner and then hits a suplex that he follows up with that Chris Benoit falling headbutt thing.

He whips Tanaka off the ropes and levels him with clothesline and then kicks him out to the floor. Shearer goes to the outside as well and drops Tanaka’s arm across the guardrail and then press slams him back into the ring.

Shearer lays in some rights while Tanaka is in the corner, but it’s time for the HOT TAG! Tanaka comes back with some chops and then whips Shearer into the opposite corner. He nails Shearer with a sit out powerbomb and pins Shearer for three.

Winner: Pat Tanaka

Tanaka really works better as a tag team wrestler who can make the hot tag than a solo guy. He’s great at selling that he’s being beaten within an inch of his life and great at the one big desperation move, but picking up the win after that rather than tagging in the fresh man? It doesn’t really work for me.

Video Clip!

“On February 5th, the Line Was Crossed.” The line that was crossed apparently involved Terry Funk putting a sleeper hold on Shane Douglas who was in turn putting a sleeper hold on Sabu, because that’s what happens in the video clip.

“ECW…It’s Not a Secret Anymore!”

Fuck! It’s Matty Indahouse…

He interviews a bunch of grapplers about what transpired between Shane Douglas and Terry Funk during the press conference following the show on Saturday. He interviews J.T. Smith, Hunter Q. Robbins III, The Public Enemy, Jason, and Pat Tanaka, all of whom think that Shane Douglas is a dick. I’m really curious now what happened to cause such disparate wrestlers as these to all agree on something.

Meanwhile Backstage…

Hunter Q. Robbins III says that he’s back from vacation and has taken on “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka as his new charge. “Isn’t that just ducky?”

 

 

Meanwhile Backstage (and at Some Other Point in Time)…

Jay Sulli interviews Snuka and Tommy Dreamer before their match. Dreamer says that it’s been his dream to wrestle Snuka since he was a little kid  and calls him a legend. Snuka says “brother” 10,000,000 times and gets offended that Dreamer called him old. Snuka’s like, “Remember…………………………the Superfly is always going to fly away.” He the calls Dreamer a punk and proceeds to bark at Dreamer for like a minute. The entire thing went on for like 5 minutes though it felt like 900 years.

 

Back in the ECW Command Center…

Joey Styles informs us that the February 5th show…THE NIGHT THE LINE WAS CROSSED will be available on home video and you can pre-order it by calling the number at the bottom of the screen. It’s blurred out on the network, but he clearly says the phone number aloud twenty seconds later so if you really want that VHS just watch this episode and listen carefully when he says the phone number…or order the DVD off Amazon or something.

 

He then throws it down to the ring for Dreamer vs. Superfly already in progress…

Match 4: Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka (w/ Hunter Q. Robbins III)

Dreamer slams Snuka to the mat twice and the Superfly bails to the floor. The crowd is chanting “Piper! Piper!” at him. Joey Styles laying the groundwork for Michael Cole talking about Roman Reigns declares, “The crowd is really behind young Tommy Dreamer!”

Back in the ring they lock up and Dreamer nails Snuka with some right. Dreamer goes off the ropes and dives at Snuka, but he moves letting Dreamer tumble out of the ring to the floor. Snuka follows him out and waffles Tommy Dreamer with a chair shot to the back before the action returns to the ring.

Snuka lays out Dreamer with a back breaker and then goes up top for the Superfly Splash. He connects and goes for the pin. One! Two! Three…NO! Dreamer kicks out! An onscreen graphic claims that Tommy Dreamer has just become the first man to kick out of the Superfly Splash. I call bullshit on this, but am not about to scour the WWE Network looking for a match prior to early 1994 in which someone gets hit with the Superfly Splash and kicks out.

Snuka’s in shock. He pounds on Dreamer some more and then goes up to the top rope again. He connects with another Superfly Splash, but doesn’t even go for the cover, instead he goes back up top and nails Dreamer with a third Superfly Splash. He pins Dreamer and picks up the win, but he’s not done yet!

Superfly goes back up and hits a fourth Superfly Splash causing Dreamer to cough up blood. It’s not as bad as Invader #3 but it’s still pretty gross. Superfly goes up top for yet another Superfly Splash but Tod Gordon comes out to stop him. He gets nailed with a double axe handle from the top rope for his troubles.

A bunch of wrestlers come out to stop Snuka from doing any more damage to Dreamer.

Winner: “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

As shit as their interview was, this was actually a pretty decent match. It was clipped so I don’t know how the actual match played out, but the version we got here on TV was pretty good.

 

Highlight Video!

We get a highlight video of Mike Awesome as he maims Mikey Whipwreck and Keith Shearer. When did those two fight Mike Awesome?

 

 

The Night the Line was Crossed…

Joey Styles is backstage on February 5th, right after the 60-minute draw between Funk, Sabu and Douglas. Funk is there, beaten and bloodied, but still champion. Funk starts to cry about how much he loves wrestling and doesn’t think that WCW or (REDACTED) are any good.

Funk praises ECW for its passion and dedication to bringing wrestling to the people. He praises a bunch of ECW wrestlers including Sabu and Shane Douglas and says that he might not like them as people, but he respects them as competitors.

Shane Douglas shows up with Sherri Martel and interrupts the interview. Douglas carries on about how he’s the uncrowned champion since he was the only one of the three competitors who was able to walk out of the ring on his own two feet. He swears a metric fuck ton. assembling carefully crafted fuck-shit stacks that are bleeped out do to this being a show shown on basic cable.

Funk calls Douglas a fool and Shane shoots back that Funk’s a shell of his former self. Like Snuka earlier in the evening, Funk gets pissed off for being called old. Shane’s like, “That belt should be mine!” and Funk’s like “Here, take it. I’m going to enjoy kicking your butt to get it back!” Shane Douglas calls Terry Funk an “old piece of shit,” which leads to the two brawling as someone’s like, “CALL SECURITY!”

WE GOTTA GO!

 

Final Thoughts

From a production standpoint this is one of the clearer and cleaner looking episodes that I’ve seen since I began watching ECW here. Up to this point it’s been like watching 3rd or 4th generation bootlegs with tracking lines and stuff, but here it all looks really good.

As for the actually content of the episode? It was a bunch of short squash matches, but that’s fine since the focus was more on the “Shane Douglas is a Dick” storyline than anything else. That being said, if you can determine what the blurred out phone number was that Styles plugged earlier and order a VHS cassette of The Night the Line was Crossed there you’ll probably be better off just watching the Funk & Douglas promo in that form and skipping this episode, unless of course, you are a big fan of Jimmy Snuka giving promos where he clearly does not know what the fuck is going on. If you are that one guy, than this is the episode for you!

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