Lucha Underground (December 3, 2014)


We begin things backstage where Ezekiel “Big Ryck” Jackson is signing a contract with Dario Cueto. Dario tells him, “When I invited Johnny Mundo to Lucha Underground, I wanted to use him as an example that no matter the talent, the reputation, the flash, no one is safe. Put everyone on notice because violence is my favorite kind of entertainment.“ Champagne gets busted out and Big Ryck lights up a cigar.

It’s Lucha Underground!

Ivelisse and Son of Havoc are in the ring. Ivelisse screams that she’s tired of japes being made at Havoc’s expense. So far his opponents have been a woman and “half a man.” She says that they didn’t sign seven year contracts to be treated like this. She takes a shot at TNA and says if they wanted to deal with this kind of crap they’d be living in Nashville. Havoc then gets on the mic and issues an open challenge if anyone in the back has the balls to face him man to man.

Some salsa music starts up as someone dances out from stage right atop the stairs. It’s Pimpinela Escarlata! Pimpinela’s an “exotico,” a luchadore with “flamboyant tendencies,” which is Matt Striker’s way of saying that they act like a cliche, stereotypical gay man. Pimpinela Escarlata’s here to answer Havoc’s challenge. The bell rings and the match gets underway.

Match 1: Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Son of Havoc (w/ Ivelisse)

Pimpinela gets the early advantage and hits some decent moves in the first part of the match. He walks the top rope and takes out Ivelisse with a crossbody block before hitting Havoc with a missile dropkick from the top turnbuckle.

The tide turned in Havoc’s favor after Pimpi fell off the apron and banged his arm, injuring it. The injury was compounded by Ivelisse putting the boots to him before Havoc hit the weirdest elbow drop I’ve ever seen. Pimpi was down at ringside so Havoc grabbed onto the ringpost and held his body out perpendicular to it and from that position dropped an elbow onto Pimpinela Escarlata. Craziness.

Pimpi carries on with his wrecked arm, and is holding his own, but Ivelisse keeps getting involved. Eventually she interferes one too many times and Mascarita Sagrada comes out of the back and chases Ivelisse around the ring. During the chaos, Pimpinela kisses Havoc and gets a quick roll up for the win. Cue up the salsa music! Mascarita Sagrada and Pimpinela Escarlata celebrate in the ring.

Winner: Pimpinela Escarlata

This match was pretty decent for what it was. That Havoc elbow drop was totally badass, but I’m wondering what the plan is for Havoc and Ivelisse. I’m guessing there will be a Havoc/Ivelisse vs. Pimpi/Sagrada tag team match, but after that? Will Havoc wrestle a bear? Will they bring in Zach Gowen? Who else will they throw at him to wrestle in comedy matches?

Meanwhile Backstage…

Johnny Mundo walks into the bathroom as Dario Cueto is shaking it out in a stall. Cueto wipes his crotch with his hand and then wipes his mouth, because he’s disgusting.

Johnny Mundo isn’t too grossed out though and slams Dario into the stall and tells him that any time Cueto knocks him down he’s going to get back up and kick Dario’s ass. Johnny hasn’t forgotten the $100,000 Dario owes him. Dario promises to pay him, and Johnny snatches the key Dario wears around his neck as collateral.

Match 2: Mil Muertes (w/ Catrina) vs. Famous B

Famous B gets the jobber entrance. Mil Muertes comes down to the ring with Catrina and does his whole entrance deal: kneeling on the Aztec seal, having Catrina take off his Aztec war armor, that stone, the whole nine yards. I think his entrance actual lasts longer than the match.

Mil totally destroys Famous B. Spears him and then finishes him off with the Flatliner. Post match Catrina licks Famous B.

Winner: Mil Muertes

This sort of match would have been a better use of Mil Muertes last week instead of sacrificing Drago to him for no real reason. It was short, sweet, and made Mil Muertes look like a total badass.

Video Package!

A little girl talks about how dragons were super badass but how everyone thought they were extinct, until a dragon returned as a man. Drago is apparently a for reals dragon and can also do sweet nunchunk moves.

Match 3: Drago vs. King Cuerno

These two met in the ring two weeks earlier with Drago picking up the win. I think I liked this meeting between the two a little more. Cuerno wrestled at a slightly faster pace than he did in their first encounter and the match was overall a lot more exciting.

While the match is going on, the mysterious Asian lady from last week comes out again and watches the match. She looks annoyed and leaves after a moment.

Drago hits a couple of awesome aerial maneuvers to the outside, but Cuerno ends up getting the win after hitting Drago with a suicide dive and finishing him off with the Thrill of the Hunt.

Winner: King Cuerno

Cuerno and Drago are at one a piece now, so clearly they’ll have another match to determine who’s the best of the best…or whatever this feud is about. I don’t know what the mysterious Asian lady’s deal is and don’t know why the commentators never really mention her that much either. It’s kind of weird.

Meanwhile In The Ring…

Johnny Mundo comes out to the ring and demands Dario Cueto comes out and pay him what he owes him. Johnny’s going to give him to the count of ten and begins to administer the ten count. At six, Ezekiel “Big Ryck” Jackson comes out and tells Johnny to shut the hell up. Johnny replies by jumping over the top rope and taking out Big Ryck.

Johnny continues his count, but Konnan emerges at the top of the stairs. “Odelay. Arriba la raza!” Fuck yeah! Vintage Konnan. WCW 1997 baby! He’s got it like that! Konnan tells Johnny that Prince Puma doesn’t have his back anymore. While Konnan is bellowing stuff, Big Ryck comes to and attacks Johnny Mundo from behind.

Prince Puma hits the ring and together with Johnny Mundo they eject Big Ryck from the ring. Puma and Mundo start yelling at one another and Puma takes a swing at Johnny. The two throw down on each other. Security (for the underground fighting federation) hit the ring and try to separate the two.

Eventually Dario Cueto comes out of his office with Johnny’s $100,000. He says it was supposed to be Big Ryck’s signing bonus, but instead it will be up for grabs in next week’s main event: a $100,000 Ladder Match!

Match 4: Sexy Star & Fenix vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Pentagon Jr.

Fenix and Sexy are hyped up and take control early on, but as the pace of the match slows, Chavo and Pentagon get the advantage by using their strength to manhandle Sexy Star. They then isolate Fenix and beat him down.

For a haphazardly assembled team Pentagon and Chavo work together really well. The two make quick tags and hit a lot of decent double team moves and help each other cheat while the ref is otherwise distracted. They were a surprisingly good duo.

After what seemed like a hour of getting beat down Fenix gets to his corner. HOT TAG! Sexy Star comes in like a house on fire and wrecks everyone’s shit. She runs in place on Chavo’s chest, but it was not meant to last.

Chavo gets back in control, but Fenix hits a huge stomp on Chavo’s back from the top rope and then rolls out, directly into a belly to belly suplex from Pentagon Jr. Sexy Star keeps the exchange moving, hitting Pentagon with a crazy tilt-a-whirl DDT. Pentagon rolls to the outside, but is hit by a corkscrew dive from Sexy Star. Fenix dumps Chavo out of the ring and then does a crazy aerial move to the outside that takes out everyone.

Back in the ring, Fenix hits Pentagon Jr. with a knee drop from the top rope and Sexy Star picks up the win via pinfall and the show ends with Fenix and Sexy Star standing triumphant in the center of the ring.

Winners: Sexy Star & Fenix

This match was pretty awesome. I wonder if this more or less resolves the Sexy Star/Chavo plot or if they’ll drag it out some more.

Final Thoughts:

This was a decent enough episode. The wrestling part of the show was, save for the Mil Muertes squash match, really good this week. The in ring action was fast paced and high flying and exciting.

On the plot side of things, the Johnny Mundo/Puma/Big Ryck/Dario Cueto storyline is progressing pretty well. The set up to next week’s main event was pretty great and has left me pretty hyped for the ladder match.


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