Lucha Underground begins with Konnan, entering Dario Cueto’s office. The one time Wolfpac member tells Cueto that he stopped Prince Puma from coming into Cueto’s office and wrecking house on him after Cisco and Castro attacked Puma last week.
Dario offers Konnan a drink, but Konnan turns him down. Cueto tells him that Castro and Cisco for Big Ryck, not him and that he’s got no beef with Puma. Konnan then says that he wants a match…Puma vs. Big Ryck in a Boyle Heights Street Fight and asks Dario if he knows what a Boyle Height Street Fight is. Before Dario can reply, “I’m assuming it’s like a South Philly Street Fight or a Chicago Street Fight or any of the myriad of other geographically based street fights that exist in pro-wrestling,” Konnan tells him that it’s a fight, not a wrestling match and that anything goes.
Dario Cueto is amenable to this and agrees to the match and then goes to take a sip from his booze, but Konnan snatches the glass out of his hands and is like, “You know what? I think I will take that drink after all,” and then chugs it and leaves the office. Dario has a look of disgust on his face and dumps the ice and liquor dregs from the glass into a trashcan.
Match 1: Drago vs. Mil Muertes (w/ Catrina)
Mil Muertes continues to be a total badass this week in his match with Drago. This one’s all power vs. speed, because what else could it possibly be? Of all the opponents Muertes has faces thus far, Drago fares the best, getting in some speed based offense against the big man, but Hossness trumps speed and Muertes picks up the win pretty easily.
During the match we had seen King Cuerno watching Drago from on high and once the match was over Cuerno comes down to the ring and lays out Drago.
Winner: Mil Muertes
I’m not really all that pleased that they’re already tossing name brand dudes at Mil Muertes unrelated to his specific plot. I mean they could have had Cuerno do the same sort of ambush after some other Drago match and Muertes could have faced “enhancement talent,” and the results would have been exactly the same, but I digress.
Johnny Mundo refused to kiss ass and play politics in the WWE so they never gave him the chance to be as great as he could have been, so he left. Lucha Underground said they wanted the best, so he came to Lucha Underground because that’s exactly what he is…the best!
Dario Cueto meets up with Muertes in the hall and praises his victory. Catrina gets sassy and tells Dario that he cannot keep darkness locked away forever, and grabs at the key he’s wearing around his neck. Has he always had that key? I dunno!
Match 2: Mascarita Sagrada vs. Son of Havoc (w/ Ivelisse)
Commentary is busting Havoc’s Son’s balls, saying that he’s only had to face a woman and now he’s up against a mini. Vampiro says Son of Havoc isn’t much taller than Sagrada. Sagrada gets in some early offense, but Ivelisse trips him up when he’s running the ropes allowing Havoc to take control.
What’s some Asian lady dressed like a dominatrix doing in the Impact Zone?! During the match some lady comes out and watches the match for a few moments from the top of the stairs before she walks off. Striker and Vampiro more or less ignore her brief appearance.
Ivelisse gets involved some more in the match, but Sagrada hits some high flying maneuvers and ultimately scores a roll up victory much to Havoc’s Offspring’s dismay.
Winner: Mascarita Sagrada
This was a short fun match. I’m curious what they’re going to do next with Havoc to embarrass him. Maybe have him fight one of those ancient dudes who wrestled during the Territories Era and still are fighting? Gypsy Joe? Terry Funk?
Match 3: Sexy Star vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
After calling out Chavo last episode for fucking over Blue Demon Jr. and hitting her in the head with a chair Sexy Star has a chance to get revenge on Son of Chavo Classic this week.
Chavo acts like a dick and bullies Sexy in the early going of the match, but Sexy Star, as soon as she has the chance, is pretty much like “Fuck wrestling,” and grabs a folding chair. So goes after Chavo with the chair, but the ref tries to stop her earning a kick to the jolly sack for his troubles. Sexy gets the DQ but doesn’t seem to care.
Before she can brain Chavo Jr., Pentagon Jr. runs out and snatches the chair from Sexy Star. It looks like Sexy’s about to get her skull busted for a second time when Fenix runs out to make the save.
Winner: Chavo Guerrero (by DQ)
Not really a match, but it did move the story along nicely. I assume we’ll get a tag team match between these two in the next episode which is fine by me.
Match 4: Prince Puma vs. Big Ryck (w/ Cisco & Cortez Castro)
Cisco and Cortez come out wielding chairs. There are DQs so it seems like Puma’s going to have his work cut out for him. This is another speed vs. power match with Puma out-speeding Ezekiel “Big Ryck” Jackson in the early going bring Castro and Cisco into the match.
Puma fights them off but Big Ryck takes control of the match and slowly beats down Puma. Ryck sits down in a chair in the corner and has Cisco and Castro work over Puma. Puma dropkicks Ryck, knocking his chair over and then runs wild with a kendo stick. At some point Cortez gets busted open and is bleeding all over the place like Ric Flair circa 1983.
Ryck and his goons fend off his attack and beat Puma down and then bring out a ladder and a table. Johnny Mundo comes parkouring off the top of Dario’s office into the ring and makes the save, but accidentally hits Puma with a stray chairshot, knocking him out.
Cisco and Cortez take out Mundo and the help Big Ryck put Prince Puma through the table for the one-two-three. We’re outta time! We gotta go!
Winner: Big Ryck
This match was a pretty mediocre hardcore handicap match. The wrestling was pretty “meh,” but it furthered the Puma/Mundo/Big Ryck & Co. storyline so it was alright I guess. I’m assuming we’ll get a Puma vs. Mundo fight out of this before long so I guess I can live with a bout of less than stellar hardcore.
The comedy match between Sagrada and Son of Havoc was probably the best wrestled match of the night which is saying something. Tonight there was a lot of plot development with very little decent in ring action. It was still entertaining to watch, but I hope they figure out how to balance the plot stuff with actual wrestling a little bit better.